F**k Depression, Duff is back!!

Alright everybody, gather round. I am here to tell you all about the second installment of Hardcore Self Help. F**k Depression. Written by one of my favorite people Robert Duff, Ph.D. Now if by some bizarre circumstance you have missed one of the many times I have mentioned Duff and/or his first book F**k Anxiety or his website DuffthePsych.com I suggest you do two things before reading the rest of this blog. First, check the review I did on F**K Anxiety and second, scurry off to buy yourself a copy, here I’ll even give you a link. Don’t worry I’ll wait. . .

Now that we have that taken care of let’s talk about F**k Depression. I could literally break this book down chapter by chapter and give you about a thousand reasons why you should buy it, read it, and share it with your friends. However, I’m guessing most of you don’t have time for that (and if you did you should just buy and read the book) and truthfully I don’t have time to write all of that. So I’m going to do my very best to break this down into some overarching points and a few specifics I most appreciated in this book. So let’s do this.

Starting with general thing I find to be awesome about F**k Depression (Some of these will sound familiar from my review of F**k Anxiety, I mean it was written by the same dude so the style is similar):

• Easy to Understand – One of Duff’s many talents is that he can take a subject and break it down and explain in a way that is easy understand, not overwhelming, and does away with all the professional jargon we, the professionals, love so much.
  
• Feels like a Friend – Just like in F**k Anxiety the tone/voice of this book is that of a friend. Someone who understands that where you are at the moment sucks and genuinely cares about you getting better. And just like any good friend he knows how to use humor to lighten the mood and bring a smile to your face. As I read through the book, I laughed or smiled frequently and even found myself talking back to the book or making comments in agreement, out loud, talking to a stack of paper. No I am not crazy (most of the time) it’s that vibe of talking with a friend that bring it out in me.
• Awesome Suggestions – From easy wins to logic barometers (no I won’t tell you what either of those means, read the book) F**k Depression is full of suggestions on how to get started and  take care of yourself. And he explains EXACTLY how to do them step by step and even includes pictures (Who doesn't love pictures)
• Ain’t No Fillers Here – This book is roughly twice as long as F**k Anxiety (about 150 pages) but it keeps with the idea that Duff says what needs to be said and then moves on. He doesn’t write extra just for the sake of making it longer or for the sake of proving to everyone that he knows how to use big words and professional jargon. Part of the reason this book is a little longer is that there isn’t the same urgent feel to this book as there was in F**k Anxiety. Duff himself has said that he took more time writing this book than he did F**k Anxeity. I think that intensity worked for F**k Anxiety and having a little less of that works REALLY well in F**k Depression.

Okay those were some general things I liked about F**k Depression, now let me dive into some specific things I value and appreciate.

I have been working as a therapist for coming up 8 on years (And I just made myself feel old). Working with individuals struggling with anxiety and depression has been a passion and focus of mine since the beginning, so I’ve seen it a lot. And while these jerks often like to hang out together, and can often be dealt with using similar techniques and interventions, there is one thing that sets them very far apart from each other. Motivation. Depression can become particularly tricky to deal with because it just ZAPS the motivation right out of you, and you’d just as soon lay in bed in the dark and not bath for a couple of days as you would get up and do something that might make you feel better.

Let me put it this way, you remember that time you had the flu and spent 4 days in bed and the sheer act of walking to the bathroom and back took all your energy. Yeah it’s like that only instead of a virus it’s your brain being a douche. Duff does an excellent job of tackling that particular challenge, and gives some ideas on how to get the ball rolling. It’s like the physics principle, an object in motion stays in motion an object at rest stays at rest. This book can be the force that gets things moving again so you can be an object in motion.

One of my favorite things about both of Duff's books, the letter to support people to help them understand the ins and outs of depression and what your loved one may need in terms of support and patience. All too often when talking with clients I hear about how their family and friends suck at being supportive. That doesn’t mean that they are bad people it just means that they don’t get it and that can be frustrating when you are having enough challenges getting yourself vertical in the morning, let alone explaining why to other people. This letter is something you could easily give, as is, to a support person in your life, or could serve as a jumping off point for you to write your own or start a conversation.

Two chapters in this book, I believe, are possibly the most important chapters. The first is on treatment. Not only does Duff talk about various treatment options but also gives you a little bit about what to expect with each and how they can be helpful in you learning to kick depression’s ass.  I often here from people during our first session "I've never done this before so I don't know what to say". Luckily for them the first session is a lot of questions and information gathering which gets the ball rolling. But I think this chapter helps people have a little better idea what to expect, particularly from therapy, to take the edge off that uncertainty of going to the first session.

The second chapter that I think is of vital importance is regarding Suicide. Duff says right in the beginning of the chapter that we tend to treat the word suicide like Voldemort or Beetlejuice and if it is said aloud that all hell will break lose and someone will decide to kill themselves. This is not the case AT ALL, and sometimes I wonder if our lack of conversation about it actually contributes to the problem. In this chapter Duff makes this topic seem not so scary to talk about while not diminishing its importance. He also talks some about the process of hospitalization and what that experience is like, taking some of the fear and feeling that hospitalization is a punishment out of the equation.

I will let you read that chapter for yourself but I will say this. I have had a handful of clients over the years that either think I would enjoy sending them to the hospital, or if they are completely honest with me about their thoughts and feelings that I would "ship them off" to the hospital because they are "nuts". Neither of these statements are true. Hospitalization is, and should be the option of last resort. Meaning there is NO OTHER way to keep you safe than to have you in the hospital.

Finally, a personal note. Many of you probably know from previous posts that I have had a personal battle with depression and anxiety in addition to my role as a mental health professional. Reading this book struck a chord in a way I didn’t expect.  As I read this it brought back some very unpleasant memories, but it wasn’t a bad thing, I mean it wasn’t fun but it turned out to be good.  Memories would spring up from the worst depressive episode I've ever had (waaaay back in college). As I sifted through the memories that came up and felt the emotions that came with them, it gave me an opportunity to be reminded of how far I have come, and all the things I have overcome to build a life I am very happy with. That all to say, regardless of where you are in your battle with depression this book can be informative, touching, or helpful for lots of people.

Image from www.duffthepsych.com

Okay that’s it, that’s everything. I know this is one of the longer blogs I have written lately, if you have hung in this long, gold star for you. Please check out F**k Depression and all things Duff related. He really is one of the most genuine, caring, smart, funny, compassionate, (that’s probably enough adjectives although I could go on) all around good guy I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing, with a lot to offer to world. And he's written another phenomenal book.