tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80488084440128165032024-03-13T07:14:28.684-05:00Oh Andrea: Thoughts on mental health, balanced living, and other stuff."I am not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine."
~Bruce LeeAndreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-27300969088280000562016-06-20T08:27:00.002-05:002016-06-20T08:27:48.539-05:00Finding Your Voice<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Holy Hiatus Batman! First let me apologize for my absence,
assuming anyone follows this closely enough to notice lol <span style="font-family: "wingdings"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:)</span></span>. Sometimes life throws
you a curve ball and things suddenly get put on the back burner. But I think
things have calmed down and I should be back to my regular schedule of Monday
posts. So with that said, thank you for your patience and let’s move on to today’s post.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I did a thing. . .</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I offered to be a guest on a friend’s podcast and to share
my story of self-harm. And THEN my friend agreed. *gulp* So this week I spent
about an hour discussing my story of self-harm from the beginning and through the
journey out the other side with my friend, <a href="http://www.duffthepsych.com/" target="_blank">Duff the Psych</a> (I’ve mentioned him
once or twice before). He was absolutely wonderful and made the experience as comfortable and safe as possible
and he really is a good guy. However when the interview was finished I had a
moment of “What the hell did I do”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Luckily the interview was about 12 hours before the release
of the episode so I didn’t have too terribly long to stress, fret, and question
my decision, because once it was out there, there was no taking it back. Even
though this was a story I wanted to share this is an inherent risk in putting
yourself out there and exposing the tenderest parts of yourself. But the response
was positive, and I even asked a few close friends to listen, and their
response was super supportive and positive as well.</div>
<br />
We are now a few days away from the initial release of the
podcast and I've survived the waves of panic and nothing catastrophic as happened as a result, so ya know, that's good. And in fact there have been some REALLY positive results of me taking this step. One, I managed to NOT sound like an idiot in the interview, always a positive start and something to be proud of. Two, it has helped me integrate that piece of my life into my life story in a more salient way than it has been before. And three, and what I want to focus mostly on, is that I found my voice.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most of my life I have struggled to find my voice, there have been times particularly when it came to my self harm, in which I literally could not speak about it. I would open my mouth to say something and no sound would come out. The fear of judgment by others for what I had been dealing with and struggling with was SO great that I LITERALLY could not speak about it. It's a very strange feeling when your brain wants to say something and your mouth just refuses.<br />
<br />
We all have a story, we all have events (good or bad) that have shaped us and made us into who we are. And we should all be allowed to tell that story and have that story honored and valued by others. At many points in my life I have felt with in myself, and been made to feel by others that my story didn't matter. Events weren't traumatic enough, or weren't good enough to warrant getting to tell the story. And that if I did I was being dramatic about the negative things or I was bragging too much about the positive things. So at some point I stopped telling my story, and eventually lost my voice all together.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But here is the reality for you and for me. ALL of our
stories matter. Our trials and struggles shouldn’t be compared to other people’s
to determine if they are worthy of being heard. Each of us is worthy of being
heard simply because we are humans. Our stories deserve to be told and honored
by those we chose to share them with.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It has taken me more years than I would have liked to find
my voice. But I have found it now and I will share my story, not only for my
sake but in hopes of helping others as well. I hope that if finding and keeping
your voice is a struggle for you, that you continue to grow strength in
that. I hope that you have people in your life that will honor and respect your
story. You are worth that and so much more!!! You have a right to share your
story!!! If you don't have those people in your life I STRONGLY encourage you to find some, whether that is making an effort to meet new people and build new relationships, or finding a therapist to help you through that journey (my therapist has been INVALUABLE on this journey), or maybe that means you just need to ask people in your life. Sometimes we (that includes me) keep people at such a distance that we don't realize we have support at our finger tips if we would just ask.<br />
<br />
Taking any one of those steps is challenging, and at times can rise to the level of terrifying. I know I just shared my story with anyone who wants to click on a podcast link. But I PROMISE you it's worth it, YOU are worth it. I have received nothing but positive support from friend, family and strangers alike. And more importantly I for one of the first times in my life I feel like I am walking around WITHOUT secrets, I don't have to worry about hiding anymore, everyone knows, and even though everyone knows. . .I'm okay, I'm still me, and I'm still worthy of love. And so are you, NO MATTER WHAT.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have included a link to the podcast below, check it out if
like. Please know that it is a very candid interview in which I do talk about
when I was actively self-harming. If you chose to listen please make sure to
take care of yourself if this is something have or currently struggle with. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.duffthepsych.com/episode14" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="www.duffthepsych.com/episode14" border="0" height="191" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-n1rNfmfOEHs/V2M2QgCBaMI/AAAAAAAAArc/-S18Wwr6prQOgALlCPmrU9H8WAJdE8TkwCLcB/s400/HCSH%2BPodcast.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Finally, you should just check out Duff's podcast in general, you can find it one his website or on itunes. He alternates between doing an interview style episode like this one and answering questions he receives from people via twitter (<a href="https://twitter.com/DuffThePsych" target="_blank">@DuffThePsych</a>) and email etc.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-84005605422625187782016-03-21T10:44:00.000-05:002016-03-21T13:53:35.824-05:00The Internet is Weird!!!!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-n_bCciP1RPs/Vu7FfbV1nEI/AAAAAAAAAqY/P_PIUVpbS4wxgePk9sjwHplGUnXjBpyuQ/s1600/Angry-Tweets-.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-n_bCciP1RPs/Vu7FfbV1nEI/AAAAAAAAAqY/P_PIUVpbS4wxgePk9sjwHplGUnXjBpyuQ/s320/Angry-Tweets-.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you have gone a day in the last month where you haven’t
used the internet raise your hand. That’s what I thought, none of you. We use
the internet every day whether we are on social media, checking email, reading
the news, or have fallen into one of the other thousand rabbit holes you could
fall into on the internet. In the last 6 months I have been spending more time
on the internet, mostly due to increased time on social media, and the jury is
still out on whether or not that is a good or bad thing. However, one thing is
for sure.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The internet is a strange place.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t get me wrong I have met some fantastic people through
social media, and I absolutely consider them friends even though we haven’t met
in real life. You all know who you are. But I have also run into some
interesting situations and people on the internet and that is really what I
want to talk about. In the last couple of months I have had more than one. .
.uh. . .interesting encounter on the internet. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The bulk of these have occurred on YouTube, I have a few
YouTubers that I follow pretty religiously and often comment on their videos.
Three times over the last couple of months someone has responded to a comment I
made with some pretty nasty insults about my character or appearance, which
really in no way even relates to the video or the content of my comment. Truth
be told I don’t let these types of things bother me that much, although when
you aren’t expecting it, it can side swipe you for a minute. And usually the
comments are gone by the time I even get notification that they were posted.
That being said am I the only one that thinks it’s odd to attack a person
you’ve never even talked to let alone met?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-40Lu5sEbLZA/Vu7ESfxYg0I/AAAAAAAAAqM/3ITk-EodP8Il_ObbYlvvQvLFCQ9e2RDTQ/s1600/Dean%2Bconfused.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-40Lu5sEbLZA/Vu7ESfxYg0I/AAAAAAAAAqM/3ITk-EodP8Il_ObbYlvvQvLFCQ9e2RDTQ/s400/Dean%2Bconfused.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The other area, in which I see some of the most hateful
attacking comments, are on new stories. It doesn’t really matter whether it’s a
political story, a tragedy, or a fluff piece about a celebrity. EVERYONE has an
opinion, and sometimes people’s opinions are downright nasty. Just because
someone doesn’t agree with you politically doesn’t mean they are stupid or
unpatriotic. The tragic death of a child in an accident is not a time for you
to comment on how stupid you think the parents are for letting the child do X,
Y or Z in the first place. And for heaven’s sake celebrities are people too and
what gives us the right to tear them apart because of their appearance or the
things they do or don’t do?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now don’t get me wrong there are times that I read a news
story that makes me frustrated, and there are times I struggle to understand
the other side of an issues. And when I get really worked up I have been known
to think to myself or even say out loud and I find something or someone to be
idiotic. We all do, we are all human, and we are all flawed. However the
absolute vitriol that gets spewed on the internet is disturbing. I often
wonder, would these people say these things to another human beings face? Or is
it the anonymity of the internet that allow someone to spew such hatred?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I suspect it’s the latter that makes people comfortable with
being as audacious as they are with their comments on the internet. That being
said maybe if we weren’t so divisive in our daily lives and comments, it would
improve our overall way of the seeing other people and maybe we could have a
little less of an us versus them attitude. Some would argue with me that it’s
the media’s fault for the “us versus them” attitude and they need to stop being
divisive in how they report the news. The reality is that the media is a
reflection of us. They write and print what sells, if we decided we didn’t want
all the drama and hatred in our magazines and papers and stopped supporting
media sources that printed stories that way, it would change.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I could go off on several tangents from here but I’m not
going to. My final thoughts are these. Maybe when we read a story on the
internet we should take a step back and see if we can understand both sides of
the argument before leaving a comment. And when you do leave a comment whether
on a news story or on a social media format, take a moment and ask yourself,
would I say this to a person’s face, even if they were a stranger? If the answer
is no, then maybe your comment needs revision. If you answer is yes and it’s a
comment full of hatred, well that’s probably a topic for another blog entry. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Be kind to your fellow humans, we are all doing the best we
can to make it in this world. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oH4m4GhYsoQ/Vu7EN1wTVFI/AAAAAAAAAqI/A_Y1aONlb2E1AllHEfT5gpWEvk3OeIgvg/s1600/Be%2Bkind%2Bgif.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oH4m4GhYsoQ/Vu7EN1wTVFI/AAAAAAAAAqI/A_Y1aONlb2E1AllHEfT5gpWEvk3OeIgvg/s400/Be%2Bkind%2Bgif.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-57798556823537516492016-03-07T10:42:00.002-06:002016-03-07T10:42:39.177-06:00There's Still Good People Out There<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QGqcKJ9piSE/Vtxxcps1qkI/AAAAAAAAAo8/3cJc7IztKQs/s1600/Heart%2BWorld.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QGqcKJ9piSE/Vtxxcps1qkI/AAAAAAAAAo8/3cJc7IztKQs/s400/Heart%2BWorld.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some days it’s pretty easy to get swept away in the
negativity in the world. Politicians arguing in the latest debate, nasty
comments left on a post or story on the internet because they don’t agree with
each other. All too often these days it seems that we focus on the ways in
which we are different from each other rather than the ways in which we are
similar. At the end of the day most of us are just humans doing our best to
make in this world and make what we believe to be the best decisions for
ourselves, our families, and the world we live in. That makes us more similar
than anything.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Despite the negativity that seems to fill my TV and computer
screen and the lack of friendly greetings when you pass someone on the street, occasionally
something happens that gives me hope that maybe this world isn’t as negative as
the media would like us to believe. That happened to my office mate, Emily, and
I last week. So let me tell you a story.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Emily and I recently purchased new chairs for the waiting
room, which left us trying to figure out what to do with the old ones. The
chairs we had were actually in good shape except the seat covers had been torn.
So we figured we could donate them and someone else could get some use out of
them or would may want to recover the seats. The day came to load the chairs up
in Emily’s SUV and haul them LITERALLY across the street to the second hand
store.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Convinced we can get all 4 of these chairs into her Honda
Pilot and get them across the street we start putting them in, then take them
out, then put them in, take them out, reevaluate. . .you get the idea, it was
like playing Tetris, a game I have never been very good at. Finally we get them
all in the back of the car but we can’t close the hatch. Luckily for me I have
a father that made sure I was prepared for any situation and had a bungee cord
in the trunk of my car. I went and grabbed it and then we started to fiddle
with how to strap the hatch down.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As we struggled through this whole process a guy had come
out side and was having a smoke break. As he watched us struggle with the hatch
and the bungee cord he said:
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you guys need some straps, I’ve got straps in the back
of my truck”</div>
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<br /></div>
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I responded “No I think we’ve got it, just need to get this
bungee cord hooked” as I said it one of the chairs slipped and started to fall
out of the car. Emily and I grabbed it and started packing them back in.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you want some help?” They guy says</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This time I said “That would be great, if we just had an
extra set of hand I think we can get it”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He came down and we started evaluating how to make this
work. He was trying to think of ways to help us get them in the car without using
the bungee, but we were trying to avoid removing the car seat from Emily’s back
seat. We told him we were LITERALLY going across the street so it didn’t need
to be perfect just secure enough. Then it happened. . .</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“If you are just going across the street why don’t you just
take my truck?”</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-x4JXfqBUxBo/VtxxljiqeEI/AAAAAAAAApA/gMeM5c8M_mY/s1600/Mr.%2BBean%2BGif.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-x4JXfqBUxBo/VtxxljiqeEI/AAAAAAAAApA/gMeM5c8M_mY/s320/Mr.%2BBean%2BGif.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Keep in mind we had never seen or talked to this guy before.
We didn’t even know is name. Neither Emily nor I said a word we just stood
there and stared at him. I don’t think either of us could believe what we had
just heard. Finally I mustered a “Are you sure?” He laughed a little and said “Well
unless you planning on stealing it, yeah I’m sure.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not really knowing what else to do or having a better plan,
Emily and I agreed. We pulled the chairs out of Emily’s car and she moved it
out of the way while Daniel (we finally did introductions) ran upstairs and got
his keys and pulled his truck forward and helped us load them in the back. Then
simply said, “have fun” and disappeared back into the building.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then Emily and I just looked at each other like who is going
to drive this thing. See what he neglected to mention was that his truck was a Toyota
Tundra. Far bigger than any vehicle I have ever been in let alone driven
anywhere. In case you were wondering I got the honor of driving by default
since after Daniel went back in the building Emily made a bee line for the passenger’s
side.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We had a pretty comical ride over to the second hand store as
we joked that we hoped Daniel wasn’t calling the police and reporting his truck
stolen. And making guesses as to what my dad would say about this whole
situation. You see my dad is a little high strung about things and often gets
worked up over nothing so it is kind of fun to guess what he would say.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the end of the day our efforts to be good people and
donate these chairs failed as the second hand store wouldn’t take them because of
the tears, so we did all that and ended up hauling them back to our office building
and putting them in the dumpster. But the impact of Daniel’s generosity has and
will stick with me for quite some time.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So as you start your week off and we are bombarded with the
latest political infighting, or hear about some awful thing someone did to
someone else on the news, or even in your own backyard, experience someone
being rude at the grocery store, remember this story. In a world that can seem so
negative and uncaring at times, you never know when some very nice stranger
will see you struggling and offer assistance in the most generous ways. These
are the things that make this country and this planet great. The day to day
interactions of everyday people helping everyday people. We don’t need to be
made great again, we still are and always have been great.</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-38183862851353380232016-02-22T09:09:00.000-06:002016-02-22T09:09:58.207-06:00F**k Depression, Duff is back!!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
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Alright everybody, gather round. I am here to tell you all
about the second installment of Hardcore Self Help. F**k Depression. Written by one of
my favorite people Robert Duff, Ph.D. Now if by some bizarre circumstance you
have missed one of the many times I have mentioned Duff and/or his first book
F**k Anxiety or his website <a href="http://duffthepsych.com/">DuffthePsych.com</a> I suggest you do two things before
reading the rest of this blog. First, <a href="http://oh-andrea.blogspot.com/2015/09/fk-anxiety-word.html" target="_blank">check the review I did on F**K Anxiety</a>
and second, scurry off to buy yourself a copy, <a href="http://www.duffthepsych.com/hardcoreselfhelp/" target="_blank">here I’ll even give you a link</a>.
Don’t worry I’ll wait. . .</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<img border="0" height="169" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E_kg9boMBIo/VsQD1CNHWsI/AAAAAAAAAoM/O3C_PFV1qIc/s320/HCSH%2BDepression%2BWait.png" width="320" /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now that we have that taken care of let’s talk about F**k
Depression. I could literally break this book down chapter by chapter and give
you about a thousand reasons why you should buy it, read it, and share it with
your friends. However, I’m guessing most of you don’t have time for that (and if you did you should just buy and read the book) and
truthfully I don’t have time to write all of that. So I’m going to do my very
best to break this down into some overarching points and a few specifics I
most appreciated in this book. So let’s do this.
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Starting with general thing I find to be awesome about F**k Depression (Some of these will sound familiar from my review of F**k Anxiety, I mean it was written by the same dude so the style is similar):</div>
<b>
</b><br />
<ul>
<li><b>Easy to Understand</b> – One of Duff’s many talents is that he
can take a subject and break it down and explain in a way that is easy
understand, not overwhelming, and does away with all the professional jargon we, the professionals, love so much.<br /> </li>
<li><b>Feels like a Friend</b> – Just like in F**k Anxiety the
tone/voice of this book is that of a friend. Someone who understands that where
you are at the moment sucks and genuinely cares about you getting better. <b>And
just like any good friend he knows how to use humor</b> to lighten the mood and
bring a smile to your face. As I read through the book, I laughed or smiled
frequently and even found myself talking back to the book or making comments in
agreement, out loud, talking to a stack of paper. No I am not crazy (most of the
time) it’s that vibe of talking with a friend that bring it out in me.</li>
<li><b>Awesome Suggestions</b> – From easy wins to logic barometers (no
I won’t tell you what either of those means, read the book) F**k Depression is
full of suggestions on how to get started and take care of yourself. And he
explains <b>EXACTLY</b> how to do them step by step and even includes pictures
(Who doesn't love pictures)</li>
<li><b>Ain’t No Fillers Here</b> – This book is roughly twice as long
as F**k Anxiety (about 150 pages) but it keeps with the idea that Duff says
what needs to be said and then moves on. He doesn’t write extra just
for the sake of making it longer or for the sake of proving to everyone that he
knows how to use big words and professional jargon. Part of the reason
this book is a little longer is that there isn’t the same urgent feel to this
book as there was in F**k Anxiety. Duff himself has said that he took more time writing this book than he did F**k Anxeity. I think that intensity worked for F**k
Anxiety and having a little less of that works <b>REALLY</b> well in F**k Depression.</li>
</ul>
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Okay those were some general things I liked about F**k Depression, now let me dive into some specific things I value and
appreciate. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been working as a therapist for
coming up 8 on years (And I just made myself feel old). Working with individuals
struggling with anxiety and depression has been a passion and focus of mine since
the beginning, so I’ve seen it a lot. And while<b> these jerks often like to
hang out together</b>, and can often be dealt with using similar techniques and
interventions, there is one thing that sets them very far apart from each other. <b>Motivation</b>.
Depression can become particularly tricky to deal with because it just <b>ZAPS</b> the
motivation right out of you, and you’d just as soon lay in bed in the dark and
not bath for a couple of days as you would get up and do something that might
make you feel better. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let me put it this way, you remember that time you had the
flu and spent 4 days in bed and the sheer act of walking to the bathroom and
back took all your energy. Yeah it’s like that only instead of a virus it’s
<b>your brain being a douche</b>. Duff does an <b>excellent</b> job of tackling that
particular challenge, and gives some ideas on how to get the ball
rolling. It’s like the physics principle, an object in motion stays in motion an object at
rest stays at rest. <b>This book can be the force that gets things moving again so you can be an object in motion.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of my favorite things about <b>both</b> of Duff's books, the letter to support
people to help them understand the ins and outs of depression and what your loved one may need in terms of support and patience. All too
often when talking with clients I hear about how their family and friends suck
at being supportive. <b>That doesn’t mean that they are bad people it just means that
they don’t get it</b> and that can be frustrating when you are having enough
challenges getting yourself vertical in the morning, let alone explaining why to other people. This letter is something
you could easily give, as is, to a support person in your life, or could serve as a
jumping off point for you to write your own or start a conversation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Two chapters</b> in this book, I believe, are
possibly <b>the most important chapters</b>. The first is on treatment.
Not only does Duff talk about various treatment options but also gives you a little bit
about what to expect with each and how they can be helpful in you learning to
kick depression’s ass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I often here from people during our first session <b>"I've never done this before so I don't know what to say"</b>. Luckily for them the first session is a lot of questions and information gathering which gets the ball rolling. But I think this chapter helps people have a little better idea what to expect, particularly from therapy, to take the edge off that uncertainty of going to the first session.<br />
<br />
The second chapter
that I think is of vital importance is regarding Suicide. Duff says
right in the beginning of the chapter that<b> we tend to treat the word suicide
like Voldemort or Beetlejuice and if it is said aloud that all hell will break
lose and someone will decide to kill themselves</b>. This is not the case <b>AT ALL</b>,
and sometimes I wonder if our lack of conversation about it actually
contributes to the problem. In this chapter Duff makes this topic
seem not so scary to talk about while not diminishing its importance. He also
talks some about the process of hospitalization and what that experience is
like, taking some of the fear and feeling that hospitalization is a punishment
out of the equation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will let you read that chapter for yourself but I will say this. I have had a handful of clients over the years that either think I would enjoy sending them to the hospital, or if they are completely honest with me about their thoughts and feelings that I would "ship them off" to the hospital because they are "nuts". Neither of these statements are true. Hospitalization is, and should be the option of last resort. Meaning there is <b>NO OTHER</b> way to keep you safe than to have you in the hospital.<br />
<br /></div>
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Finally, a personal note. Many of you
probably know from previous posts that I have had a personal battle with
depression and anxiety in addition to my role as a mental health professional.
Reading this book struck a chord in a way I didn’t
expect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b>As I read this it brought back
some very unpleasant memories, but it wasn’t a bad thing, I mean it wasn’t
fun but it turned out to be good</b>. Memories would spring up from the worst depressive episode I've ever had (waaaay back in college). As I sifted through the memories that came up and felt the emotions that came with them, it gave me an opportunity to be reminded of
how far I have come, and all the things I have overcome to build a life I am very
happy with. That all to say, regardless of where you are in your battle with depression this book <b>can be informative, touching, or helpful for lots of people.</b></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.duffthepsych.com/hardcoreselfhelp/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="http://www.duffthepsych.com/hardcoreselfhelp/" border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-X27-2zJ8dUA/VsQD1lqcfII/AAAAAAAAAoQ/9P2RTZKmPl0/s320/HCSH%2BDepression%2BCover.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image from www.duffthepsych.com</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay that’s it, that’s everything. I know this is one of the
longer blogs I have written lately, if you have hung in this long, gold star
for you. Please check out <a href="http://www.duffthepsych.com/hardcoreselfhelp/" target="_blank"><b>F**k Depression</b></a> and all things <a href="http://www.duffthepsych.com/" target="_blank"><b>Duff </b></a>related. He
really is one of the most genuine, caring, smart, funny, compassionate, (that’s
probably enough adjectives although I could go on) all around good guy I’ve
ever had the privilege of knowing, with a lot to offer to world. And he's written another <b>phenomenal</b> book.</div>
Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-18460654856796301972016-02-15T08:59:00.001-06:002016-02-15T08:59:56.497-06:00The Problem of Procrastination!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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It is currently 10:15pm Sunday night and I am just now
sitting down to complete this blog for a self-imposed deadline of Monday
morning. Actually the original deadline for this blog was last Monday, which
seems appropriate given today’s topic is procrastination. And here we are. .
.after 10pm writing this blog when I should be getting ready for bed because I
spent the rest of today procrastinating all the other things I wanted to do
today and am now in the mad dash to still get them done before bed.
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let’s start with a definition. Basically procrastination is
the process in which you are doing “fun” tasks before “necessary” tasks for
putting urgent tasks off to address less urgent tasks. There are two categories
which most procrastinators fall into. A) You just plain struggle with time
management and prioritizing or B) you are a perfectionist. I know a bunch of
you just went “Huh?” to reason B, but I promise I’ll explain juts bear with me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will be the first to tell you that I have <b>ALWAYS</b> been a
procrastinator. I will readily admit that during college it was not uncommon
for me to start writing a paper at 10 pm the night before it was due (gee that
sounds familiar) and writing till 2 or 3 in the morning. Usually that resulted
in not enough sleep but, by some miracle, I was getting decent grades so I
continued to operate that way. And we won’t even talk about how little use my
textbooks got in college.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QdUwuVLBla0/VsFhhS5ATAI/AAAAAAAAAns/f6wt2k0XBe0/s1600/Procrastination%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QdUwuVLBla0/VsFhhS5ATAI/AAAAAAAAAns/f6wt2k0XBe0/s320/Procrastination%2B1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">And to further prove
my point I just took a break to play a round of candy crush, sigh.</i>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I got older and realized I could no longer operate on as little
sleep as I used to and had more and more on my plate and putting all of it off
to the last moment just doable any longer. So I decided it was time to change
my ways. Over the last decade or so (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">let’s
not talk about the fact it’s been a <b>DECADE</b> since I graduated college</i>) I
have actually become quite good and <b>NOT</b> procrastinating and getting things done
a head of time. However here recently those old habits have been creeping up on
me again and I feel like I have been doing everything at the last minute. So I
thought if shared some of the things I do to stave off procrastination it would
also help me get my own self back on track.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Earlier I mentioned there tends to be two general categories
that people fall into when it comes to <b>WHY</b> they procrastinate. The first is
pretty straight forward, struggles with time management and trouble
prioritizing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some people no matter how
hard they try just can’t seem to get themselves organized. That can be pretty
straight forward to get a handle on in the way of easy tips and tricks to
facilitate that process (I’ll get to those in a moment)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The other category, and the one I tend to fall into, is that
of the perfectionist. Now I’m sure that sounds strange to some of you, it
certainly did to me the first time someone said it to me. My response was if I
was a perfectionist I would be working on things way in advance and revising
and reworking things till they were just so and ready to go. Yes, that is one
way in which perfectionism can manifest itself. However, if you think about it,
it also makes sense as manifesting itself as procrastination. For me it gives
me an outlet other than my own shorting comings as to why I didn’t get a
perfect grade on that assignment or that session prep wasn’t as good as it
could have been. I didn’t have enough time to do it perfectly (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">never mind I am the reason I didn’t have
enough time, our brains are very good at ignoring logic when it suits us</i>)</div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_TqojESZ3wg/VsFhhaYny7I/AAAAAAAAAno/1HKhTonOPkc/s1600/Perfectionist%2B2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="140" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_TqojESZ3wg/VsFhhaYny7I/AAAAAAAAAno/1HKhTonOPkc/s320/Perfectionist%2B2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So how do I/we overcome the problem of procrastination? Well
if you fall into the perfectionist camp that is going to require some work on
accepting the fact that no one is perfect and that is okay. Sometimes that work
can be done on your own through the use of thought logs and other cognitive
behavioral methods. Since there is going to be some anxiety tied to that, allow
me to link you <a href="http://www.duffthepsych.com/hardcoreselfhelp/" target="_blank">HERE</a> to my favorite resource for starting to address anxiety. If
you find yourself struggling to get that in check on your own don’t be afraid
to recruit the help of a professional.
</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
As for general time management and organization allow me to
share with you the 2 things that work the best for me:
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Lists</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I live and die by my lists, if it’s not on a list chances
are I will forget that I am supposed to do it. Now don’t just go make a list
that is 3 pages long of things you need to get done. That leads to getting overwhelmed
and then inevitably Netflix and chill. Instead make several lists.</div>
<br />
<ul>
<li>Most important every task has to have a deadline, whether it
is imposed by you or by someone else deadlines help trust me.</li>
<li>Next I have 2 bigger lists labelled “This week” and “Later”.
I think those are self-explanatory but just in case “this week” is stuff I
need/want to get done this week and “later” means it can wait.</li>
<li>Then each morning at the office I make a “today” list. This
list I try to keep to 3 to 4 things. What 3 or 4 things are the most important
to do today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also keep this list short
because I want to feel accomplished every day. If I get more than that done in
a day GREAT but if I don’t I still want to be able to be at the end of the day
and feel like I accomplished what I needed/wanted to.
</li>
</ul>
<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Rewards.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now this one works well for some and not so well for others.
For me this is an amazing motivator. If I am working on a task that is not one
I am super excited about but is necessary (session notes and accounting work
comes to mind) I set myself up for success by working in some rewards.
Sometimes this is based on working for a certain length of time or completing a
certain portion of the task once that is complete or that time has passed I get
a reward. Now these are not major rewards, usually it’s like 5 minutes to play
a game on my phone or 5 minutes on twitter to see what’s happening then it’s
back to work. This works for me for 2 reasons, one it breaks things up into
smaller chunks, I don’t have to worry about ALL my session notes I just need to
work on them for 25 minutes then I get a break, and I can do just about
anything for 25 minutes. And two, I just like rewards, who doesn’t like taking
a minute to pat themselves on the back and give themselves treat.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
So there it is, my tips and trick to combating the evil
procrastinator monster. Now that it is almost midnight, I am going to rewards
myself with some sleep and try again tomorrow to conquer the procrastination tendency
living inside my brain.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>***All images from google images***</i></span> </div>
Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-86439482871428212602016-02-01T09:47:00.000-06:002016-02-01T09:47:19.905-06:00Anxiety Strikes Again<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-r8iqkLj1Mmw/VqqMEcVWQoI/AAAAAAAAAnE/VBsc04cEzcI/s1600/Anxious%2BDriving%2B5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-r8iqkLj1Mmw/VqqMEcVWQoI/AAAAAAAAAnE/VBsc04cEzcI/s400/Anxious%2BDriving%2B5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anxiety strikes again. I have talked a few times on this
blog about anxiety in general and my own struggles with anxiety. And every once
in a while my anxiety rears its ugly head in an expected way and we talk about
it again. That’s probably the biggest pain about anxiety. You think you have it
in check and have made it your bitch and then you find yourself in a situations
having intense anxiety thinking what the hell? You know what makes that feeling
even better? When it happens in front of someone you have just recently met and
has no idea that you struggle with anxiety. Welcome to the story that inspired
this blog.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A few weeks ago I went on a date with a new fella and we hit
it off right away. Only hitch was he was getting ready to move for work and
would be residing in a city about 3 hours from where I live. We decided not to
let the distance stop our relationship from moving forward since things were
going so well, so last weekend I went to visit him. The city he is living in is
quite a bit bigger than the city I live in and more importantly I had been to
this city a grand total of one time before this and driving in unfamiliar
cities is one of the things that sets of my anxiety pretty quickly.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EnR_Y02tKHk/VqqKn9VbM_I/AAAAAAAAAm8/BoeJ8_aHhhc/s1600/Anxious%2BDriving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EnR_Y02tKHk/VqqKn9VbM_I/AAAAAAAAAm8/BoeJ8_aHhhc/s400/Anxious%2BDriving.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I set off Friday afternoon with my map and directions in
hand, directions mind you I had read SEVERAL times prior to leaving. I only got
turned around once and successfully made it to the hotel with minimal issue,
but I had been so tense driving I felt like I just finished a marathon when I
arrived. This is what driving in unfamiliar places does to me. So now that you
know that, let’s fast forward to Saturday morning.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Saturday morning we get in the car and are headed to an art
museum (which I had looked up directions for from the hotel), as we pull out of
the parking lot my fella says I want to show you downtown before we go to the
art museum. I said okay but you will need to tell me where we are going and how
to get back to the art museum. He agreed an off we go. We get to the middle of
downtown the freeway is about to split in about 6 different directions and I ask
okay which way are we going? My fella says I don’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Excuse me what? He says just figure it out,
this is how you learn a new city. I'm immediately anxious and losing my mind,
what do you mean you don’t know, I told you to figure this stuff out, I don’t
need to learn to navigate this city I don’t freakin live here. These are all
things flying out of my mouth as I’m desperately trying to remember the address
of the museum so I can put it in my GPS. (Just for the record I don’t recommend
ever typing anything while driving on the highway).</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8Db9UKt44tc/VqqKnYf1tAI/AAAAAAAAAm0/5OjBHD0bAWA/s1600/Anxious%2BDriving%2B4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8Db9UKt44tc/VqqKnYf1tAI/AAAAAAAAAm0/5OjBHD0bAWA/s400/Anxious%2BDriving%2B4.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Fear not we eventually made it to the art museum and I
calmed down and we had a wonderful time. However this happened again on Sunday
when I was dropping off my fella before I left town. This time he didn’t have
an address of where he was going and he was navigating on sight. That time we
got into a little bit more of an argument because again my anxiety was spiking
pretty high. Ultimately we got to where we were going got him dropped off and I
got myself headed home.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I was making the three hour drive home it finally started
to click to me that anxiety was the reason I had gotten worked up (yep
sometimes it even take a therapist a while to connect the dots of her own
brain). And then I started thinking about how much of this do I explain to a
guy I haven’t known all that long and how I do even go about doing that. I have
been very blessed in my life that I haven’t had to explain my anxiety to too
many people, many of the people in my life have been very understanding without
much conversation or explanation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While thinking all this through on the way home I was also
found myself concerned with how he would react. Would he understand? Would he
respect my need for a little more planning or would he continue to think the
best way to help me is to put me in incredibly uncomfortable situations
thinking he was helping. As I contemplated all these different questions I also
started to get angry. Angry that my brain works this way and gets all worked up
over things that really aren’t a huge deal. Angry that my anxiety had interfered
with my weekend and caused us to get in not one but two arguments that just
weren’t necessary.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By the time I got home I was exhausted, not just from a fun
filled weekend but from having to spend SO MUCH time thinking about how to
introduce a new person in my life into the craziness that is having an anxious
brain. If I had to guess I would imagine that many of you out there struggling
with anxiety can relate to this on many levels. Coping with anxiety can be
exhausting in and of itself. Explaining your anxiety to people have been in
your life for years and you know care about you can be a challenge. Finding the
courage to overcome anxiety and meet NEW people can be a HUGE challenge. And
then you get through all those hurdles and you find yourself in a situation
where you feel you have to explain yet again, and to a new person, why you are
freaking out over something that you know isn’t a big deal. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0PGtd-rvBlk/VqqKnVCW5UI/AAAAAAAAAmw/rbM6Jr3NUJA/s1600/Anxious%2BDriving%2B3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="299" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0PGtd-rvBlk/VqqKnVCW5UI/AAAAAAAAAmw/rbM6Jr3NUJA/s400/Anxious%2BDriving%2B3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some days it can all feel like it’s more work than it’s
worth. But I think we can all agree that we know that isn’t true. Yes there are
times when we are rejected by people we care about and who we thought cared
about us because of our anxiety. But the times you find someone to add to your
support army, who gets it or at least tries to get it and can be there for you
makes it all worth it.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As for my current situation. I haven’t talked with him about
my anxiety in the days that I have been back, and I’m still not sure how I want to
go about it or how much I want to share with a person I don’t know very well
yet. He did notice my scars over the weekend and didn’t run away screaming so
maybe there is hope for this one yet ;). If any of you have suggestions or
techniques you use when you are telling someone about your struggles with
anxiety, I would love to hear them so leave me a comment below.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i> *All images were taken from Google Images*</i> </div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-67583007553191550152016-01-25T20:54:00.002-06:002016-01-25T20:54:30.595-06:00"Living in the Past"<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footer"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of figures"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope return"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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“Living in the past”, often said with a tone implying this
is a bad or unhealthy thing. Implying we should let go of things that have
happened in our past, particularly the bad stuff, and live in the present. Many
of my clients have had family and friends tell them to stop living in the past
when they are having particularly bad days with flashbacks or memories. For the
first time, I can remember, this weekend someone said this to me in the middle
of a heated discussion and I was surprised by how deeply it stung me when that
person said it. With one statement it felt as though that person had dismissed
my feelings and, on some level, me. It caused me to start thinking about this
idea of living in the past and the consequences of being told we should stop
living there.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We all have a past. However many years you have been on this
planet, you have that many years’ worth of memories. Some of them so good you
still smile when you think about them, some of them so painful that when they
cross your mind they stop you in your tracks. Regardless of good or bad, they
are our memories and they will be forever. That being said memories are not
just a record of events in our lives like photographs or video we can go back
and enjoy when we feel like. Memories are linked to events, things that have
happened that have changed how we think and feel, sometimes events are so
impactful they change our behaviors and how we approach the world around us. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So if you think about it from that perspective, telling
someone to “stop living in the past” is like telling them to forget who they
are and how they’ve gotten here. To completely abandon the things that have
shaped them into the person they are. And rarely is someone told to stop living
in the past when they are talking about that big promotion they got six months
ago or that time they made the Dean’s list in college, or any other major, life
changing, positive event. It’s usually when someone is struggling with missing
a family member they lost, or they react a certain way to people that yell at
them because it reminds them of an abusive parent. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After my experience this weekend I believe that being told
to “stop living in the past” is one of the most dismissive things that can be
said to a person who is struggling or is trying to express their feelings. That
statement implies that we are in complete control of our emotions and reactions
at all times. We can’t always help how we think, feel, or react to a situation,
furthermore, even if we know certain things are triggers we can be caught off guard
or surprised by something.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the end of the day, we all respond to things differently
and our brains have different needs in terms of processing and accepting
circumstances we have been through. Some of those circumstances are so dramatic
we are changed forever. So my call to everyone is this. Be gentle with each
other. Be kind to each other. And always remember that everyone you meeting is
struggling with something you know nothing about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If were all a little more patient with each
other this world would be a much better place.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That being said, if you know someone that is being crippled
by past experiences (i.e. anxiety so severe they can’t leave their house for
fear they would be attacked). There is nothing wrong with loving suggesting to
them they consider getting professional help so that they can continue to live
their life to the fullest and not let their experiences take from them. Just
please PLEASE don’t tell them to “stop living in the past”. </div>
Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-59728162584859641862016-01-18T08:00:00.000-06:002016-01-20T19:03:50.561-06:00Feeling Overwhelmed???<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MCqH0uXDy1Y/VpvXFItttUI/AAAAAAAAAmE/R2cL9MkHKbk/s1600/Overwhelmed%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MCqH0uXDy1Y/VpvXFItttUI/AAAAAAAAAmE/R2cL9MkHKbk/s400/Overwhelmed%2B2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Hey Everyone. I
hope that you are having a wonderful start to your 2016 and that all your
dreams are starting to come true. In 2016 I have pretty much hit the ground
running. Work has been busy, new clients coming in. I’ve started teaching an
online class and started building a class for the next term. I have started the
planning for an upcoming vacation and already in 2016 I have met some new
people and started building new relationships. Needless to say 2016 has been
off to a good start. But if you read through that list and got a little bit
tired or overwhelmed let me tell you, you are not alone.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I am loving
everything about 2016 so far but WOW, I feel like I have been running for 2
weeks straight and have had very little time to breathe. I will be the first to
acknowledge that my self-care routine has probably suffered more than I realize
in the last couple of weeks. There have also been times where I have felt so
overwhelmed I wasn’t even sure where to start or what to think. The rest of the
time I find myself sitting at my desk with a new browser window open and my
phone in my hand ready to do something and can’t for the life of me remember what I was
going to do with either of those things. Or I’m wandering around my house with
about 18 things on my brain that I need to do but accomplishing none of those
things.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ld0CIyQCLjw/VpvXFOPl_QI/AAAAAAAAAl8/dYyvfONK1tw/s1600/Overwhelmed%2B3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ld0CIyQCLjw/VpvXFOPl_QI/AAAAAAAAAl8/dYyvfONK1tw/s320/Overwhelmed%2B3.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Anyone out
there every feel like that raise your hand. We’ve all had times when life feels
completely overwhelming. Thankfully over the years I have developed some very
simple things that I can do that will help ground me back in reality and get a
handle on what needs to get done and how I can get started. So allow me to
share the 3 simple things I do when I’m feeling overwhelmed to help me feel
like my feet are back on the ground.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<b>
</b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><b>1. <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Breathe.</span></b> Generally speaking this is the
first step to anything you want to do. Breathe. There are about a million ways
to breathe if your goal is relaxation or combating anxiety. Just google “breathing
techniques” and you will see what I mean. However two of my favorite breathing
exercises are 4-7-8 breathing. In 4-7-8 breathing you breathe in 4 counts, hold
7 counts, and out for 8 counts. If you need a little help getting started <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtpLcmg-TtY" target="_blank"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">here is a great video</b></a> that will talk
you through it. My other favorite breathing exercise is square breathing. That’s
a pretty simple one as well and I’ve included a diagram below to explain how to
do it.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gY1ijk6gGmk/VpvXFjMTGjI/AAAAAAAAAmI/BYZrYrt1kZc/s1600/Square%2BBreathing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="376" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gY1ijk6gGmk/VpvXFjMTGjI/AAAAAAAAAmI/BYZrYrt1kZc/s400/Square%2BBreathing.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><b>2. </b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Make it Manageable.</b> While I am a HUGE
advocate of making lists sometimes the very thing that can help me stay on
track and make sure I don’t miss anything can add to my feeling of being
overwhelmed as they get longer and longer. For example Friday afternoon I was
sitting at home thinking of all the things that I wanted/needed to get done
this weekend. As the list grew in my head I started thinking I am going to have
to work all weekend and I won’t even get half of what I need to done. As I was getting
more and more overwhelmed I stopped myself and then did some breathing. Then I
started breaking things down into really small pieces. Instead of thinking I need
work on class stuff, I broke it down even further, grading papers, grading discussion
questions, writing a quiz. Then I picked one to start with and focus on and put
the rest aside while I focused on grading discussion questions. And you know
what it didn’t take near as long as I felt like it was going to and when it was
done I felt like I had accomplished something and it motivated me to continue
on to the next thing. I don’t care how small you have to break things down to
but get the to do list into bite size pieces that feel manageable and just pick
ONE to start with and set the rest aside till that one thing is done.</span>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YNSHepARIiE/VpvXFN57DOI/AAAAAAAAAmA/RZIVMOcAW3g/s1600/Overwhelmed%2B4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YNSHepARIiE/VpvXFN57DOI/AAAAAAAAAmA/RZIVMOcAW3g/s400/Overwhelmed%2B4.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><b>3. <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Take a break</span>.</b> I know I am guilty of not
following this bit of advice. When things get busy and to do lists get long I
often find myself running around like a crazy person, half of me thinking “just
take a break and breathe for a minute” and the other half of my brain screaming
“THERE IS NOT TIME FOR BREAKS THERE IS TOO MUCH TO DO”. But here is the reality
we HAVE to take breaks, if we don’t we end up investing all our energy into
running around like chickens with our heads cut off and actually accomplishing
very little. Now I will grant you that there may legitimately not be time to
take an entire day off or to do big things for breaks but there is ALWAYS time
for a little break. Little ways I like to take a break are you play a game on
my phone for a few minutes (the catch there is you need to be able to stop
yourself), watch your favorite YouTube video, take a few extra minutes in the
shower (I love showers and feel like they can “fix” just about anything), or
buy myself my favorite sweet treat to enjoy that evening after a long day.
These are just a few things that don’t take much time or money and can be a
quick boost to your motivation and can take away some of that feeling of being
overwhelmed. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-l1rVKyr8D2c/VpvXFZVhBuI/AAAAAAAAAmM/edds6hUiyQ8/s1600/Overwhelmed%2B5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-l1rVKyr8D2c/VpvXFZVhBuI/AAAAAAAAAmM/edds6hUiyQ8/s400/Overwhelmed%2B5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">So there you
have it, my 3 easy tips for managing those times in life when life itself gets
a little overwhelming. As for me I’m going to go take a quick break and then
move on to the next manageable piece of my to do list. <span style="font-family: "wingdings";">:)</span></span><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-11772808179535468592016-01-04T09:00:00.001-06:002016-01-04T09:00:11.911-06:00A New Year, A Time of Reflection<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-p2fjeTFkqrA/Von3P0YtT5I/AAAAAAAAAk4/SJRX60-ee2w/s1600/New%2BYear%2BReflection%2B3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-p2fjeTFkqrA/Von3P0YtT5I/AAAAAAAAAk4/SJRX60-ee2w/s400/New%2BYear%2BReflection%2B3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Happy 2016!!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every year when the calendar changes to a new year it feels
like a natural time to reflect on the year that has passed and get ready for
the fresh start a new chapter if you will. As I look back on my 2015, there is
no doubt it was been a rough year, and it would be easy for me to lament about
all the things that didn’t go according to plan or the heartbreak of the last
year. Goals were set at the beginning of the year, some of them attained, some
of them I came up short on. A friendship that was very important to me ended. .
.badly. I mean for heaven sake I had a house fire in the spring. That’s enough
to make anyone a little crazy. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like I said it would be easy, and trust there have been
days, to sit back and discount 2015 as a crappy year that I can’t wait to be
done with and hope that 2016 is better. But if I take time to pause and really
think about things, there have been some WONDERFUL things about 2015 as well. I’ve
met lots of new people and started new friendships, some of them in real life
and some of them via the internet. These new additions to my life have
certainly made my life better and I have enjoyed getting to know each and every
one of them. Business has been solid this year and continuing to grow. And I’ve
spent a lot of time changing and growing and healing wounds from the past, not
always a fun process but definitely a positive.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZriruPh7G6o/Von2vQa_EFI/AAAAAAAAAk0/SR03XJKdrHI/s1600/New%2BYear%2BReflection%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="153" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZriruPh7G6o/Von2vQa_EFI/AAAAAAAAAk0/SR03XJKdrHI/s400/New%2BYear%2BReflection%2B1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We all have highs and lows</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I looked at both sides of the coin that is 2015, I came
to a realization. Had the crappy things not happened this year many of the good
things wouldn’t have happened either. Had the fire not happened I would have
still had a beautiful new bathroom but the insurance money allowed me to do
some additional updates to the house that I had been wanting to do for years.
Struggling with the disappointment of not being able to compete in half
marathon lead to weekend of intense anxiety which in turn lead to me finding a
community of people online that have been a wonderful addition to my life. That
weekend also lead to me finding one of the best books ever about anxiety that
has helped me AND tons of my clients. I could definitely go on but you get the
idea.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Almost everything in life has a good and a bad side too it.
Sometimes it’s hard to see and we don’t always see it right away. But most of
the time something good comes out of the struggle. Now please hear me out, I’m
not saying that when life smacks you in the face you should be happy it
happened and start looking for the silver lining. It’s okay to struggle and
suffer and cry and scream and throw a fit like a 2 year old, sometimes life
sucks and it’s okay to feel it. But once you get through the hard days and the
hard parts and have come out the other side look for those positives;</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What did you learn about yourself?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How have you changed for the better?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What opportunities came from this experience?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What would have never happened had it not been for this?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hope that regardless of how your 2015 went you are able to
look back and see that you are a stronger better version of yourself then at
the start of 2015. And I hope that your 2016 is everything that you hope and
dream it will be.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--ob04fyBr6M/Von2vdFMWZI/AAAAAAAAAkw/k-e9H9Www_k/s1600/New%2BYear%2BReflection%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--ob04fyBr6M/Von2vdFMWZI/AAAAAAAAAkw/k-e9H9Www_k/s400/New%2BYear%2BReflection%2B2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are 4 days into the New Year, and I’ve started that process
again, making goals and setting hopes and dreams for 2016. I don’t know what
this year will bring or what will happen. I’m sure there will be more ups and
downs just like every year. But what I can say for sure is this. Despite lows
of 2015, now that I’ve come out the other side, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Without the lows I would have missed some REALLY good highs and at the end of
the day I wouldn’t trade the highs for anything.
</div>
Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-40545115286887731122015-12-28T09:47:00.000-06:002015-12-28T12:07:52.129-06:00Parents:You Need a Break Too, And It's Okay to Take One.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footer"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of figures"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope return"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-azaKKNfAiWU/VoCr8qrh_EI/AAAAAAAAAj0/M7IGMpjU6Io/s1600/Parents%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-azaKKNfAiWU/VoCr8qrh_EI/AAAAAAAAAj0/M7IGMpjU6Io/s400/Parents%2B1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hope that you all had a wonderful Christmas Holiday if you
celebrate Christmas and if not a wonderful weekend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This week I am going to briefly step into an arena I
typically stay away from. Don’t worry we won’t be staying long but I just
couldn’t help myself after a couple of interactions with clients and friends
this last week. This arena is parenting. I generally don’t say anything about
parenting or how people chose to raise their kids for two reasons. One, I think
there are lots of ways to raise healthy happy kids and if they are loved and
cared for, who is anyone to decided which is the best way. Two, I don’t have kids of my
own, I know nothing about what it is like to be a parent and therefore feel I
shouldn’t comment on the subject.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6uAwl9lqz8o/VoCr_Xx55LI/AAAAAAAAAj8/HdABB0pVIKE/s1600/Parents%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="181" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6uAwl9lqz8o/VoCr_Xx55LI/AAAAAAAAAj8/HdABB0pVIKE/s320/Parents%2B2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But last week as I sat with a single father of a teenage boy
(the boy has some significant mental health struggles) and listened to him sob
because of the guilt he felt for wanting to have a night away from his son and
to be able to do something by himself even once in a while I thought to myself
enough is enough. I also have friends who have children of varying ages and
often feel as though they have to do everything for their kids and find a way
for them to have everything they want, and to feel as though they can never
have a girls night or a night out with friends because they are parents and
they should be there for their kids. And to do otherwise causes some of my
friends an intense level of guilt like they have failed as a parent.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here is what I say to that client sobbing in my office and
to all my friends that feel is way, your kids will survive I promise and you
are not a bad parent for wanting to do adult things with other adults and leave
your kids at home. In fact, it is good for you and probably good for your kids
too. We take breaks from almost everything else in life, work, relationships,
friends, etc why wouldn’t we take a break from your kids too?</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-le3w63kcCHI/VoCr26X3mrI/AAAAAAAAAjo/4IwB3-G75IA/s1600/Parents%2B4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-le3w63kcCHI/VoCr26X3mrI/AAAAAAAAAjo/4IwB3-G75IA/s320/Parents%2B4.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You ARE NOT a bad person for needing a break.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First and foremost this is a win win for you and your
children. Your children win because if their parents are happy then they will
be happy as well. Sometimes I think we forget how much our moods as adults can affect
children. If you are constantly stressed out, tired, and generally frazzled,
you children, regardless of their age, will pick up on this and it will begin
to affect their well-being, they may start to feel stress or feel pressure to not upset you further. I think we can all agree that’s NOT what we are
going for.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Second, it’s a win for you because you are attending to and
taking care of the person that exists outside of being a parent. Despite having
children and having that change your world in wonderful and challenging ways
there is still a person outside of being a parent that needs time and
attention. Whatever hobbies or interests you had before becoming a parent are
still there and will mostly likely still bring joy to your life, which will
probably make you happier and then you kids are happier. . .see how this circle
is starting to come together.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Third, I think it’s good for kids to have some time away
from their parents because it helps them learn to be respectful and listen to
other adults not just their parents, and it give them an opportunity to learn
to function in the world independently and way from their parents. And I know
you all want that, my friends tell me all the time “I love my kids but when they
are 18 they are moving out” this is often said in jest, but there is some truth
in jest and if you want your kids out on their own, they have to start learning
these things early and often.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ISsj8Dd1uQQ/VoCsCZD9paI/AAAAAAAAAkA/t9bnjkGJu-0/s1600/Parents%2B3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ISsj8Dd1uQQ/VoCsCZD9paI/AAAAAAAAAkA/t9bnjkGJu-0/s1600/Parents%2B3.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now I know what some of you are saying. Andrea, this all sounds
great but we don’t have a babysitter, we can’t afford a babysitter. Or maybe it’s
that the kids have so many activities that you can’t find a night away. Or maybe
for you it’s the guilt I was talking about earlier and you feel that unless you
have a good reason or event you don’t have a right to have a night “off” from
parental responsibilities. Allow me to address each of these individually.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First of all depending on the age of your children you might
not need a babysitter at all. I will not presume to know what is best for you
or your children nor will I arbitrarily pick an age and say that all kids are
ready to stay home alone at that age. But what I will say is that when I was as
young as 10 I was staying home alone with my younger sister for short periods of time
(15-20 minutes) while my parents ran errands and we
built up from there. If you do need a babysitter there are lots of ways to find
a good babysitter you can trust, websites, talk to other parents, local agencies that teach babysitting classes. If you can’t afford a babysitter who do you know
that would help out? You might be surprised. I often watch a friend’s child so
that she and her husband can have a date night. I love spending time with their son
and so really it’s as much for me as them. You never know who might be willing
to help until you ask.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-O9NWxXjlj3A/VoCtKtlxbqI/AAAAAAAAAkM/lvWbDEV8-DA/s1600/Parents%2B6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="314" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-O9NWxXjlj3A/VoCtKtlxbqI/AAAAAAAAAkM/lvWbDEV8-DA/s400/Parents%2B6.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now if the issue is that you are spending all of your time
taking kids to activities several nights of the week I would gently suggest
taking a look at trimming down the number of activities. I could write a whole separate
post about that but I will save that for another time. If trimming down the
number of activities isn’t an option it might be time to start investigating getting a
car pool going. That way you aren’t responsible for taking kids to practice
EVERY night and simultaneously helping other parents find some down time as
well. Then you know where your kids are safe and sound and you can have some
time with a spouse or a friend.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Finally, the guilt. I don’t know when in our society we decided
that it was okay to judge parents for how they raise their kids and how they
chose to take care of themselves. Like I stated above I don’t have kids of my
own but my understanding is that they are supposed to be a joy that adds to
your life not an 18 year prison sentence that requires you giving up every
other part of your being. I came from a home with two working parents that were
involved in community activities and committees that took them away from home
at night and we were regularly left with a babysitter so that my parents could
do things socially. I am also a fully functional adult with a master’s degree
who has a job and does not begrudge my parents for not spending every waking
moment by my side. Guilt is probably the hardest of these to overcome, but
remember this, your kids WILL be okay for a few hours now and then without you.
And you will be a HAPPIER parent if you take care of the man/woman behind the
parent. So give yourself permission to take a break regardless of what anyone else thinks. . .YOU DESERVE IT!!!!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-h0gF0IFpB0A/VoCr22kNjoI/AAAAAAAAAjs/p-w9xZ12E7o/s1600/Parents%2B5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-h0gF0IFpB0A/VoCr22kNjoI/AAAAAAAAAjs/p-w9xZ12E7o/s400/Parents%2B5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Please note that as I
stated above I am NOT a parent, I don’t pretend to be an expert on the subject,
and I am CERTAINLY not telling anyone how to raise their children. This blog is
based solely on my experiences working as a therapist and with friends that
have children.</i></div>
Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-17724548538636266842015-12-21T08:27:00.001-06:002015-12-21T08:27:40.461-06:00Sometimes the Little Things Aren't So Little Afterall<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OWou5DwbfUs/VneIjkCVRDI/AAAAAAAAAjA/iaQoenXKbdg/s1600/Little%2BThings%2B3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="284" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OWou5DwbfUs/VneIjkCVRDI/AAAAAAAAAjA/iaQoenXKbdg/s400/Little%2BThings%2B3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s the reality of being a therapist, 98% of the time I
absolutely love my job, I love talking with people hearing their stories,
trying to put the puzzle pieces together to get the complete picture. No matter
what happens I think I will always be a therapist in some capacity, I can’t
imagine my life without that being a part of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the same time my job is not without its
frustrations. Progress is generally slow because change is difficult and most
people, even if they want it, are somewhat reluctant to do it. People rarely
say thank you for your services, but are more than happy to blame you when
things with them or their children don’t change fast enough. But most days are
pretty uneventful and at times you can feel like you are spinning your wheels.
BUT in between the boring, frustrating, and upsetting moments there are nuggets
of pure gold that remind me why I do what I do. I had one of those this past
week and I want to share it with you and what I learned from it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Mary” is a woman in her 20’s who has struggled with anxiety
for most of her life, but it has worsened in the last few years due to a couple
of traumatic events. She currently lives with her parents and wants move out
but has a great deal of anxiety about living alone. “Mary” also spends a lot of
time worrying about what others in her community think of what she is doing. We
have spent a lot of time talking about coping with anxiety and have recently
eased into making a plan for her to move out of her parents’ home and put a
deadline in place.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A couple of weeks ago “Mary” came into my office and in many
ways seemed like a different person, she came in with a stack of apartment
listings in her hand talking about what she liked about some and what she
thought she could afford. “Mary” also made mention that she had accepted a
dinner invitation with a male friend that was significantly older than she was,
despite having concerns about what other would think and say. During our next
session (this past week) “Mary” continued to talk about moving out and wanted
to move up the target move date and that there had been some frustration in
other areas of life but stated she was done with bullshit.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nC-zIbiws8c/VneIj8hvPFI/AAAAAAAAAi8/8VFP3CqSQQI/s1600/Little%2BThings%2B4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="299" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nC-zIbiws8c/VneIj8hvPFI/AAAAAAAAAi8/8VFP3CqSQQI/s400/Little%2BThings%2B4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sometimes you've had enough</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Towards the end of our session, I asked her what had changed
in her thinking that was spurring all of these changes in decisions and
attitudes. “Mary’s” response was very casual and nonchalant “I don’t know, I’m just
tired of always having to live by other people’s standards. I mean yes some of
these situations have made me anxious, but it’s not going to get better unless
I do things in spite of being anxious.”
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s not going to get better unless I do things in spite of
being anxious. A seemingly mundane statement, said in casual tone. But in that
moment it was like the heaven’s opened up and the hallelujah chorus started.
She got it!! After weeks of talking about coping with anxiety and how anxiety
works and effects the body she got it!!! She understands that her anxiety,
uncomfortable as it may be, isn’t going to kill her and if she can use her
coping skills to face it she CAN do all the things she wants to do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know to some this may seems like an eh interaction and
what’s the big deal. Well let me tell you getting someone to face something
that causes anxiety and fear and to understand that that anxiety and fear isn’t
going to harm them is a GIANT win. It opens up the world to someone with
anxiety, everything that once seemed impossible is NOW possible. It’s like when
you FINALLY got your driver’s license and all of the sudden your world got
bigger and you could do more things and go more places because you had learned
a new skill.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Lxj-OeYDbyg/VneJtFjFe1I/AAAAAAAAAjI/gz25_AtQpP0/s1600/Little%2BThings%2B5.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="129" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Lxj-OeYDbyg/VneJtFjFe1I/AAAAAAAAAjI/gz25_AtQpP0/s320/Little%2BThings%2B5.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While I was soaring no cloud 9 and enjoying the sheer
happiness I felt for my client and the progress she had made, it caused me to
pause for a moment and think about my own life. It’s no secret that I have had
my own struggles with anxiety, and lord knows it has gotten in the way of me
being able to do the things I want to do. It has gotten substantially better
over the years but it’s still there at a times, and the discomfort of that
anxiety shapes my behavior to a degree.
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Jbva7kQgIhg/VneIjomxUWI/AAAAAAAAAi4/eCRu2dCVM-o/s1600/Little%2BThings%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="182" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Jbva7kQgIhg/VneIjomxUWI/AAAAAAAAAi4/eCRu2dCVM-o/s400/Little%2BThings%2B1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I talked with “Mary” about her experiences over the last
couple of weeks and the way she felt as she faced some of these anxiety
triggers, it was a refresher and an inspiration to me to continue to challenge
myself in my own walk with anxiety. To do a check in with myself and make sure
that I was still on top of the anxiety battle and using the skills that I spend
my days teaching to others to better my own life. Sometimes as a therapist you
catch yourself in a “do as I say not as I do moment” we are human too.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These are the golden nuggets of being a therapist, when the
pieces come together for a clients and they start walking out all the things we
have talked about. When they are able to take on the challenges they have
avoided for so long. And yes even the moments when a conversation with a client
inadvertently calls you, as the therapist, on the carpet for the areas of your
life that you need to continue to work on. These cloud 9 moments keep me going
when I feel like I’m beating my head against a wall or getting yelled at for
something that isn’t my fault. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Oh03rlZ_rLE/VneKDHvNaBI/AAAAAAAAAjQ/ntSJDpSR6OU/s1600/Little%2BThings%2B6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Oh03rlZ_rLE/VneKDHvNaBI/AAAAAAAAAjQ/ntSJDpSR6OU/s1600/Little%2BThings%2B6.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I LOVE being a therapist and this is why. I would also like
to pass this challenge on to you. What are the areas in your life that still
need some fine tuning or work? I challenge you this week to take cue from “Mary”
stand up and face those challenges and know that the as uncomfortable as it may
be, feelings can’t hurt you. Maybe you can face your anxieties or fears head on
and that’s great. But maybe for some of you standing up to those challenges is
reaching out to a friend, family member, or even a professional and saying I want
to change this but can’t do it by myself, that’s as much of a win as anything
else. No matter what it is, just don’t let it keep your world small anymore. <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">If you are struggling
with anxiety and don’t know where to start, I would recommend you check out my
review of my new favorite book on the subject, <a href="http://oh-andrea.blogspot.com/2015/09/fk-anxiety-word.html" target="_blank">F**k Anxiety HERE</a>. If you feel
like you need to talk to a professional, but don’t know where to start I would
recommend <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/" target="_blank">Psychology Today</a> to find someone in your area to get help.</i></div>
Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-41777987566679323532015-12-14T09:52:00.001-06:002015-12-14T14:53:51.950-06:00Tips for Coping with Mixed Emotions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DJnXnYzysCg/Vm5FZtshANI/AAAAAAAAAiU/OKk-inK8h-w/s1600/Mixed%2BEmotions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DJnXnYzysCg/Vm5FZtshANI/AAAAAAAAAiU/OKk-inK8h-w/s400/Mixed%2BEmotions.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Recently I was approached by a friend that works for a local
university and asked if I would be willing to teach a few courses in their
undergraduate psych program. I answered yes almost immediately and was super excited
to start looking at textbooks and start building these courses. I have taught
before, but due to the circumstances I was pretty much handed the course and
didn’t really get to make it my own. This was my chance to build this class
from scratch and make it my own, and the prospect was exciting.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The weeks went by and the quest for textbooks hit some
bumps, and finally now about 6 weeks after I was initially approached to teach,
the syllabus was due to the school and I attended my first training on learning
how to use the software for online courses. And the unmitigated excitement has
turned into waves of pure anxiety. All the what ifs start swirling, what if I
don’t know what I’m talking about? What if the students think I’m an idiot? What
if the university thinks I’m an idiot? What if I make a fool of myself? And on
and on and on the questions go. Slowly this thing I once had so much excitement
for now seems big and scary and part of me wants to run and hide.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4ThzRoAvfzk/Vm5FZXoGndI/AAAAAAAAAiM/s2meLtql5E8/s1600/Mixed%2BEmotions%2B6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4ThzRoAvfzk/Vm5FZXoGndI/AAAAAAAAAiM/s2meLtql5E8/s320/Mixed%2BEmotions%2B6.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
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How does that happen? How can we have such excitement, joy,
and eagerness to take on a new adventure, only to have it suddenly change into intense
fear bordering on panic? Well the simple answer is that new is often anxiety
provoking. When we embark on something new we are leaving our comfort zone and
that by nature tends to put us on high alert for everything that could
potentially go wrong, and you are putting yourself at risk to fail. But wait
what about all the excitement from the beginning? Well that’s pretty simple to,
new things can often be exciting, thinking about how you will feel if things go
well and the fun you will have in the process.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Puad4uQdTh4/Vm5FZNnDXVI/AAAAAAAAAiQ/PHDthzTzfkM/s1600/Mixed%2BEmotions%2B5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="199" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Puad4uQdTh4/Vm5FZNnDXVI/AAAAAAAAAiQ/PHDthzTzfkM/s320/Mixed%2BEmotions%2B5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Now wait a minute, if there are simple answers to both
questions then why do I feel so crazy? Well the problem is when both feelings
start coming at the same time. Mixed emotions. Mixed emotions are a normal part
of life but man they can be confusing and tough to deal with at times. I don’t
know about you but there are times when having mixed emotions about a situation
makes me feel like I am losing my mind because the emotions are so intensely
opposite of each other. There are a few things that seem to work really well
for me when my emotions get a little mixed and intense. Here they are in no
particular order.</div>
<br />
<ul>
<li><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Remind myself my
feelings are valid.</b> My emotions may be mixed and intense at times, but
there is a reason I am feeling all the things. I am REALLY excited to teach
this winter, and I should be. It’s something new and different where I get to
talk about things I love, of course that is exciting. At the same time there are
going to be a group of students looking to me as somewhat of an expert on this
course content and I never think of myself as an expert in anything and so that
can be a stressful position to be in. Of course I’m going to feel some
anxiety. Both of those feelings are a valid response to this situation, they
just happen to be in opposition to each other.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Breathe.</b> Sometimes I get myself so worked up over all the stress and excitement of a
situation that I forget to breathe. Often times all I need, all any of us need,
is to take a few deep breaths. You know the kind that goes all the way into
your belly. Deep breathing forces your body to slow down, and works against the
fight or flight response that comes with anxiety and causes your breathing to become
faster and more shallow. There is a favorite video of mine on YouTube that
teaches a super simple breathing exercise. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtpLcmg-TtY" target="_blank">I’ll link that HERE</a>. </li>
</ul>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OZ3183hEp6Y/Vm5FZM3JQwI/AAAAAAAAAiE/DyBTVKGGvyk/s1600/Mixed%2BEmotions%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OZ3183hEp6Y/Vm5FZM3JQwI/AAAAAAAAAiE/DyBTVKGGvyk/s320/Mixed%2BEmotions%2B2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<ul>
<li><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Take it one thing at
a time.</b> Whether that thing is one step, one task, or one day at a time,
take things as they come. Right now I can’t do anything about the fact that
some of my students may not think I am the coolest professor they have ever
had. All I can do right now is prepare to teach this class to the best of my
ability. Looking over the text and other material etc. I can’t deal with how
the students react to me until class has actually started, so I try to remind
myself to focus on what I can control now and deal with the rest as it comes.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Be kind to myself.</b>
It is easy to get wrapped up in the tasks that need to get done and wrapped up
in simply surviving the anxiety and excitement I am feeling. And when things don’t
go as well or as fast as I want it to I start coming down on myself. Which in
the end only serves to heighten the angst. In the midst of any of the crazy
mixed emotions life throws at me it’s important for me to remember to take a
step back and be patient and kind with myself and to take care of myself.
Whatever that means to each of you take care of yourselves when things are
stressful.</li>
</ul>
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As I continue down this road towards teaching in January and
work through the holiday season to get ready, the mixed emotions will continue
to rise and fall. The first week of class I will probably spend the first
couple of days feeling sick to my stomach and fighting the anxiety using all
the things I’ve outlined above. But one thing I always know for sure in these situations
that provoke mixed emotions is that I am pushing myself in a new direction and
outside of my comfort zone and even though that is uncomfortable I will be a
better person on the other side because of it. The only way we grow and change
is to get uncomfortable. But the reward is totally worth it.</div>
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*** All images from Google images ***</div>
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<br /></div>
Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-46309739038161256632015-11-23T08:22:00.001-06:002015-11-23T08:22:25.922-06:00Alvin, He's a Sneaky Bastard<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DL8m-hvREa0/VlKmqRIV8rI/AAAAAAAAAgw/lhwf9eeTC2M/s1600/depression%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DL8m-hvREa0/VlKmqRIV8rI/AAAAAAAAAgw/lhwf9eeTC2M/s400/depression%2B2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
The clock is fasting approaching 10pm on Sunday night and I have
exactly one sentence written for this blog. I had the idea for this blog in my
head for the better part of the week and just haven’t had the motivation to sit
down and work on it. I could make a lot of excuses about being busy and tired but
the reality is a sneaky monster that hides in the shadows crept up on me and
zapped my motivation to do much of anything other than sit on the couch and
watch YouTube videos. What’s that sneaky monster’s name you ask? Well in my
world that sneaky monster’s name is Alvin, but the rest of you many know him as
depression.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yep I named my depression. It was an idea I stole from <a href="http://www.duffthepsych.com/" target="_blank">Duff thePsych</a>, I talked about his <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Hardcore-Self-Help-Robert-Ph-D/dp/1514866005/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1448257426&sr=8-1&keywords=anxiety" target="_blank">book</a> on <a href="http://oh-andrea.blogspot.com/2015/09/fk-anxiety-word.html" target="_blank">anxiety</a> a while back. It helps me in a couple
of ways, it reminds me that depression is not who I am, it’s simply a visitor
and it gives me something to focus on when I’m fighting back. But like I stated
Alvin is a sneaky guy and occasionally sneaks up on me so slowly and covertly
that I don’t even notice he’s back until I am in the midst of it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He lurks in the shadows, and latches on the
natural downs of life and starts to convince me that they are downs that will
last forever and things will never go up again. That is exactly what happened
to me in the last couple of weeks.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Alvin has been part of my life for a long time, probably my
whole life. But I first got to know Alvin really well when I was in college. I
worked long and hard to build up my arsenal of tools and weapons to kick Alvin
in the face when he starts taking up a little too much space in my brain. But
apparently as I have gotten stronger in fighting Alvin, Alvin has gotten
sneakier on how he starts taking up space. This time he was so
sneaky I didn’t even realize he was coming for a visit until I was right in the
thick of it.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
About a week and a half ago I was part of a live stream to
preview a couple of chapters from Duff’s new book (super excited) and he was
reading a chapter about motivation and the ways in which depression sucks that
right out of you. As I was listening I was thinking that sounds a lot like me
right now. . .and then it hit me like a bolt of lightening. . .wait a minute am
I depressed???? So I did a quick check in with myself and really thought about
my behavior over the last week and holy shit, what do ya know Alvin came for a
visit and the sneaky bastard didn’t even warn me he as coming and set up shop
without me even noticing.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ufi_hqcDdpg/VlKmqBnYNfI/AAAAAAAAAgk/2L8wpYZ7u28/s1600/Depression%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ufi_hqcDdpg/VlKmqBnYNfI/AAAAAAAAAgk/2L8wpYZ7u28/s400/Depression%2B1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But what happened next was really confusing to me. Rather than
immediately jumping to action, grabbing the nearest depression slaying weapon,
I went even further under Alvin’s spell and got even more depressed. Because
clearly it was my fault that I was depressed, I let Alvin come back and I
should have caught it sooner, I should know better by now right? Right? You see all of
these things are lies that Alvin tells me about who am and what kind of person
I am because I struggle with visits from him in the first place. These are the types of down Alvin likes to latch on to and blow out of proportion.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WWjWnrrL_Ew/VlKmqKfeLwI/AAAAAAAAAg0/I9nDZhWqBWU/s1600/Depression%2B3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WWjWnrrL_Ew/VlKmqKfeLwI/AAAAAAAAAg0/I9nDZhWqBWU/s320/Depression%2B3.jpg" width="296" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Alvin casting his spell.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let me state the most important part of that last paragraph
again. . .THESE ARE LIES. The fact that Alvin is part of my life says NOTHING
about the type of person I am or how I measure up as a human being. It simply
means that my brain is wired differently than other people’s brains. It’s not
my fault that my brain is wired that way and it doesn’t make me a lesser person
because of it. That is just the particular genetic lottery I won I guess.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The incredibly frustrating thing about depression is that it
is often, what we call in the biz, recurrent. Meaning you may have an episode of
depression that lasts for a while (minimum 2 weeks, but can last for much
longer) and then you start to come out of it and feel better. And you may feel
better for weeks, months or even years and then at some point you have another
episode of depression. It is the part that I find most aggravating about
depression as do most of my clients. You are in what is probably the darkest
place you have been in your life and you fight like hell to get out of it.
Finally everything is going well again and at then all of the sudden, BAM you
are back in it despite your best efforts to take care of yourself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AntFRrLRhrw/VlKmqTCIonI/AAAAAAAAAgs/rSaR8Vj1Lqs/s1600/Depression%2B4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="287" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AntFRrLRhrw/VlKmqTCIonI/AAAAAAAAAgs/rSaR8Vj1Lqs/s400/Depression%2B4.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you have been in that place or are in that place now let
me just say I feel your pain. I know it sucks, hard core, but it’s not your
fault. Don’t let your Alvin convince you that the lies he is peddling are true.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve been here before, we have an
arsenal of weapons to use to hurry Alvin’s exit along, and we will beat him
again. You just have to muster the energy to open the arsenal and pick up that
first weapon. As hard as that can be in the midst of a visit from Alvin if we
can pick up that first weapon we will win in the end.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I indicated at the beginning of this blog, this is not
being written on the “other side” where I have come through the darkness and
are back to my normal self. I am still in the midst of battling Alvin
to get him evicted from my brain space. As evidence to that, it is now well past
11pm on that same Sunday night. Writing this has been a challenge because Alvin
keeps telling me to quit, it just requires so. much. energy. And that no one
cares about I have to say anyway (which might be true but isn’t really why I
like to blog anyway) But pushing through to the end and finishing this blog is
my win against Alvin tonight and puts me one step closer to evicting that
little pain in the ass.</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-23450288141165257872015-11-16T08:22:00.000-06:002015-11-16T08:22:35.619-06:00Avoiding Secondary Trauma<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UploWutZwLE/VkeeCrd52gI/AAAAAAAAAfM/XBAUUh-X0Z0/s1600/Out%2Bof%2BOrder.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UploWutZwLE/VkeeCrd52gI/AAAAAAAAAfM/XBAUUh-X0Z0/s400/Out%2Bof%2BOrder.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m sitting here on Saturday morning scrolling through my
social media accounts seeing story after story regarding the events in Paris
yesterday. And the Saturday morning news in the background is also playing
multiple stories about Paris. I feel sick to my stomach with every new post and
find myself asking a number of questions that we will probably never have
answers for. Why did this happen? How can people think that violence is
accomplishing anything? What does the future of our world look like if we
continue on this path? All of these are natural questions to ask, unfortunately
they are also questions that don’t have answers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the days and probably weeks to come Paris will be in the
news and on social media, and at times will probably feel like it’s everywhere
you look. And rightfully so, we should be aware of what is happening in other
parts of the world, and we should come together as the human race and mourn the
loss of life and trauma in Paris. However in this day and age of 24 hours news
channels and the constant stream of information coming at us through social
media we can be at risk for becoming overwhelmed and over exposed to traumatic
images and information.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Being constantly bombarded with traumatic stories and images
can result in Secondary Trauma. This is most commonly thought of as it pertains
to professionals who help people who have experienced trauma. This includes all
types of professionals from mental health counselors, to firefighters and police
officers, to journalists, anyone who works with and/or assists individuals that
have experienced trauma. Symptoms of secondary trauma mimic those of Post-Traumatic
Stress disorder, including intrusive thoughts, fatigue, fearfulness, and
difficulty concentrating.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why do I bring up secondary trauma? Because people who watch
a constant barrage of eye witness accounts, traumatic videos and images, and in
general are overwhelmed with anyone traumatic event can also experience
symptoms of secondary trauma. I can remember when Hurricane Katrina and the
aftermath was happening. It was constantly on the news, images of people wading
through waste deep water to safety, people stranded on the roofs of their homes,
bodies in the flood waters. For days and weeks these images were on the TV and
internet everywhere you looked. It seems to always be a topic of conversation.
There came a point where I it felt like that was all I was thinking about, and
I was searching out more information in an effort to be “informed”. In the end
I had to make the choice to step away and refocus my energy on what
was going on in my life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So as we face yet another global tragedy that will most
likely consume the media for weeks to come allow me to offer some suggestions
and tips on how you can take care of yourself and avoid symptoms of secondary trauma.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1. What your feeling is
okay.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First and foremost, we all have our own personal reaction to
any event. Some people will be sad, some angry and still others will react
with fear. Whatever your thoughts and feelings were upon first hearing about
the events in Paris is okay and 100% valid. The best thing you can do is allow
yourself to feel and experience whatever emotion came up for you. Don't worry about having the right response or over or under reacting just feel your feelings, whatever they are.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">2. Take breaks</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Probably the most important thing we can do for ourselves is
to take a break from the constant stream of information. Maybe that means
taking a day off of watching the news, or staying off social media for a few
hours or a day. For me I have a news app on my phone that alerts me to breaking
news. I made the decision this morning to shut off notifications for a while because
every time I picked up my phone there as a new alert and I was beginning to feel overwhelmed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know in this day
and age it can be hard to disengage for fear we will miss something. But when
it comes to stories like Paris they are often reporting the same things over
and over again, because it takes a while for new information to come out. And even if you do miss something its okay, you’ll catch up when
you are mentally ready to take that information on.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">3. It’s okay to enjoy
your life.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As my social media feeds fill with more and more stories,
memes, a statements about Paris (or any traumatic event) I start to feel like
my funny pictures of my cat, silly joke I heard, or commentary on my day is
trivial in comparison and that I shouldn’t post them or talk about them. The
reality is that it is okay to enjoy your life and laugh in the midst of
tragedy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We don’t have to be solemn and
sad all the time. It’s okay to tell a joke your heard, it’s okay to laugh, and it’s okay
to count your blessings and be grateful that your family and friends are safe
and then go about your day and life with a smile. And truthfully seeing or
hearing something that is funny or mundane about life might be a nice break for
someone else you is struggling at the moment.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">4. Talk to someone.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the many ways we has humans process our experiences
is verbally. Talking through what you are thinking of feeling about an event
can help your brain make sense of things or at the very least make peace with
things. While my advice earlier was to not let the bad things consume your life
and your thoughts you can’t completely avoid what has happened either.
Acknowledging that something has had an effect on you will also help you move
through those emotions. Really, as with many things in life, it is finding a balance between an event being your sole focus and pretending like nothing happened.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you feel as though the difficulty you are having is out
of the norm or you're having trouble getting things under control don’t be afraid
to reach out to a professional. You don’t have to have serious or chronic
issues to see a therapist. Sometimes people just need a few sessions to process
through one thing or get themselves back on track.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the coming days as we hear more and more about what
happened in Paris, and the images fill our TV screens and our social media
feeds please make sure that you are taking care of yourself and doing what is
best for you. Don’t feel obligated to continue to follow the stories if it becoming
overwhelming and don’t feel guilty about continuing on with your life and
feeling good despite the suffering in other parts of the world. Take care of yourself, first and foremost.</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-e5zp7E-GjLM/VkedB1CmmeI/AAAAAAAAAe4/1s9s0m2RtCg/s1600/Take%2BCare%2Bof%2BYou.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="105" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-e5zp7E-GjLM/VkedB1CmmeI/AAAAAAAAAe4/1s9s0m2RtCg/s400/Take%2BCare%2Bof%2BYou.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Please note that this blog entry was written prior to me learning of the attacks in Lebanon. It was not my intention to leave them out or make them seem unimportant. It has definitely been a tragic weekend around the world.</i></div>
Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-78135960680259907412015-11-09T09:10:00.002-06:002015-11-09T09:10:56.364-06:006 Tips On Supporting Someone in Grief<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kwZEnB5Y5M8/Vj_e-7TDekI/AAAAAAAAAeg/g8tBS2R6Mv0/s1600/Grief%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="106" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kwZEnB5Y5M8/Vj_e-7TDekI/AAAAAAAAAeg/g8tBS2R6Mv0/s400/Grief%2B1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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About a month ago I wrote about my grief experience and losing my Mom and a little bit in general what the grief process is like. (Check that post out <a href="http://oh-andrea.blogspot.com/2015/10/grief-your-way-is-okay.html" target="_blank">HERE</a>). As promised in that posted I have compiled a list of ideas and thoughts on how you can support someone through the grief process. This is by no means and exhaustive list, however these are the main ideas I have from my own experience along with the feedback and experiences of clients I have worked with.<br />
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<b>1. Don't be afraid to reach out.</b><br />
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Often times people think that we should leave people alone who are experiencing a loss and let them come to us if they need something. I can tell you from personal experience after my mom died I didn't have the presence of mind to think about contacting people but would have welcomed a phone call, email or text message. Even if you don't hear back from the person often it is appreciated just to be thought of when you are feeling so totally lost you don't even know which way is up. If you aren't sure what to say something as simple as "Thinking of you" or "I love you" can bring more comfort than you know.<br />
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<b>2. Let me know if you need anything.</b><br />
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Don't ever say this phrase to a person who is grieving unless you absolutely mean it. Nothing sucks more than having everyone and brother tell you that if you need anything let them know. And then when you muster the energy to reach out to someone, they are too busy to help out or help out but act like it's an inconvenience. Keep in mind needing anything could include everything from picking someone up from the airport, to needing a place for someone to stay, to needing someone shoulder to cry on. If you aren't up for anything then be specific about what you can or are willing to do or don't say anything. No one will be offended or probably even notice if you don't offer to help out. It's okay if you aren't able to help at that time they will understand and will still love you.<br />
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<b>3. Don't ask, just do.</b><br />
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While we appreciate the offers to help if needed and to just let you know, the reality is that sometimes people in the midst of grief don't know what they need. Sometimes it's better to just let people know what you are going to do for them and if that doesn't work or they don't want that they will let you know. Most of the time people in the midst of grief have so many things on their mind they aren't going to fight anyone offering help. A close friend of mine lost her mother about 11 months ago and when we talked on the phone she started talking about all the things she needed to do for work etc. I told her to give me her log in information for work (we work together) and I would take care of her appointments and I would watch the cat while they were out of town. She asked me once if I was sure, I said yes and that was the end of the discussion. I also tried to do a few little things around the house that I knew she would appreciate while I was cat sitting. They seem like little things but can mean the WORLD to someone who is struggling with grief.<br />
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<b>4. You can't make it better so it's okay to not try.</b><br />
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Sometimes people have a hard time just being and not doing something to make a situation better, however sometimes in the floundering of trying to come up with what to do or say we end up inadvertently saying something hurtful. This one is very personal to me and is some of the same feed back from others I have worked with people struggling with grief. We know our loved ones desperately want to make us feel better and they have the best of intentions but sometimes people would say things that quite honestly would make me want to punch them in the face. Here is a short list of things I would recommend staying AWAY from unless you know the person well enough to know these will bring them comfort;<br />
<ul>
<li>"They are in a better place now" or "They aren't suffering anymore" - I know that but it doesn't make me feel better about them being gone.</li>
<li>"God never gives us more than we can handle" - Well quite frankly right now I feel he expects too much</li>
<li>"It's all part of a bigger plan" - Even if a person in grief believe in a higher power that has a bigger plan most likely in their grief they don't care about the plan.</li>
</ul>
If you don't know what to say it's okay to say nothing and just sit with someone. Or keep it simple "I love you" or "I'm so sorry this happened".<br />
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<b>5. Don't be afraid to talk about our loved ones.</b><br />
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Yes sometimes when you talk about our loved ones we are going to get sad and cry but that's not your fault, that was probably going to happen anyway. I have been told by clients of mine that one of the things they fear is that their loved one is going to be forgotten after their death. Hearing other people tell stories or talk about our loved ones can be reassuring that they aren't going to be forgotten and might give us an opportunity to learn things about our loved ones that we didn't know before.<br />
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<b>6. Lastly and maybe most importantly; Listen.</b><br />
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Even if we just cry or we tell the same story 15 times, whether it's been 6 days, 6 months or 6 years since the death just be willing to listen when we need it or when we are having a bad day. We don't expect you to fix it, truly we don't, we just want someone to listen to what we have to say. Being heard and on any level understood is one of the greatest gifts a person can receive.<br />
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So as we move into the Holiday season, when many people feel the loss of a loved one more intensely, these are the tips and ideas I would offer if you are supporting a person who is experiencing grief. I hope that you find it helpful or gives you some new ideas. What do you think are some good ideas? What has your experience been? Would you add or take away anything on this list? Like I've said about a bazillion times this is a very individual process and far from one size fits all, and this is by no means and exhaustive list.<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">*Images downloaded from Google Image.</span></i> </div>
Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-8460525981273913632015-11-02T08:24:00.000-06:002015-11-02T08:24:09.625-06:00Cousins Weekend, Halloween EditionIt is fast becoming tradition that every 6ish months my
sister and I load up the car and head north to Owatonna Minnesota for a cousins
weekend with one of our cousins and her family. Usually we spend Friday just
the girls shopping in the Twin Cities and eating lunch together, before heading
back to Owatonna to spend the rest of the weekend with her family. This year,
however, my cousin informed us that they were moving in a couple of weeks and
she would provide the alcohol if we helped her pack.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The three of us. At the end of the weekend looking exhausted.</td></tr>
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We should have known better.</div>
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Now don’t get me wrong I have no problem helping someone
pack, but I will be honest it is one of my least favorite activities. On a side
note I will probably die in the house I live in now just so I don’t have to
pack and move again. But I am happy to help out a cousin particularly one I am this close
with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, there were a couple of
hitches in the giddy up that made the weekend even more interesting. One, my
cousin has a 3 year old son. Two, it was Halloween.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He looks cute and innocent doesn't he.</td></tr>
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Hitch number one, the 3 year old. I love Mr. Lukas with all
my heart, however he is 3. This means he is old enough to have an opinion and
think that his opinion is the only one that matters. Like they know enough
about the world to dictate what I am going to do and when I am going to do it,
I think not. My favorite opinion was that little boys don’t need to sleep OR
bathe. Let me tell you he was wrong on both accounts, no one likes a smelly
over tired 3 year old.<br />
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If he wasn't loudly expressing an opinion he was generally looking
you right in the eye, grinning, and then doing something that he knew was naughty. It was usually unpacking boxes that we had already
packed but hadn’t gotten taped shut yet, or climbing in the boxes and sitting there refusing to get out. At one point I watched him start pulling toys out of a box despite being told to stop no less than 3 times, I thought to myself this is why most of the parents I know end up crazy. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it
again, the survival of children from the ages of 0 to 5 is based solely on
their cuteness, because they WILL make you crazy.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is the packing help you get from a 3 year old.</td></tr>
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The second hitch was that it was Halloween. Which means one
thing and one thing only. . .Trick or Treating. Of course we had to take Mr.
Lukas trick or treating which proved to be quite the feat. First, the costume,
he had worn the costume no less than 1800 times in the weeks leading up to
Halloween and finally we get to go time and he doesn’t want to be Captain
America. So the following scene ensues, Mom says we have to put our costume on.
3 year old takes off running crying nooooooo. Mom pursues stating I paid 40
dollars for this costume you are going to at least 2 houses. 15 minutes later after Lukas ran himself into a corner and couldn't escape (he needs to work on strategy)
the costume is on and we are out the door. To those of you who have small
children you probably feel my cousin’s pain, but for those of us without
children it was pretty entertaining.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Captain America is finally ready.</td></tr>
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Now we are out in the world with about a million other
children and parents roaming the streets going from house to house dodging cars
and collecting as much candy as possible. Little kids are crying because they
don’t recognize their neighbors with masks on. Big kids are darting out in
front of cars trying to ease their way down the street. It is quite possibly
the closest things to pure chaos I have ever experienced in my life. And just
to add more fun to the chaos, apparently in the small town my cousin lives in
it is a thing to just have a bond fire on the driveway and pass out candy. So
now instead of just worrying about a kid running out in front of a car you have
to make sure their Superman cape doesn’t get set on fire. . .seriously?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Even the dog was exhausted</td></tr>
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By the time we got back to the house we were all exhausted,
including the dogs and the 3 year old who was getting ornerier by the minute but still, in his
opinion, didn’t need to sleep. By the time he finally passed out, and the
adults had a chance to sit and chat we were all so tired we could barely
formulate a coherent sentence. But we got a fair amount of things packed, had
some good laughs, found some good sales shopping and overall had a good time.
And I was once again reminded that as much as I love kids I also love coming
home to a quiet house where I can hear my own thoughts.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ibs3ULRAHYk/Vjdwy--0YSI/AAAAAAAAAdw/H2bqnaKWokM/s1600/IMG_20151101_090943.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ibs3ULRAHYk/Vjdwy--0YSI/AAAAAAAAAdw/H2bqnaKWokM/s400/IMG_20151101_090943.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sunday morning he's still happy, the rest of us are exhausted.</td></tr>
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Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-24008835414279488442015-10-26T09:38:00.002-05:002015-10-26T09:38:21.398-05:00Life's like a Tree, Sometimes Ya Gotta Prune It.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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The idea of pruning has been on my mind a great deal in the past
few weeks.<a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prune" target="_blank"> Merriam Webster defines pruning</a> (verb) as "to reduce especially by
eliminating superfluous matter or to cut off or cut back parts of for better
shape or more fruitful growth." Every spring and fall I spend a couple of
weekends pruning the landscaping at my house. Partly because I want it too look
nice and neat but also because the trees and hedge will grow better if all the dead
and dying parts are removed. You can help shape how a tree or plant
will grow through pruning, cutting low branches will keep things growing up for example. It’s funny to think that removing parts of living
thing in such a traumatic way as cutting them off could actually help something
become more fruitful in the future. But it’s true, every time I prune back the
hedges they seem to grow taller and faster.</div>
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Don’t worry, I’m not going to spend this whole post talking
about my landscaping adventures. Although there have been some dozies, but that
is a different post. I bring up my adventures in landscaping because much like my hedges, we
often find that we have to prune parts of our lives back or out so that we can
become more fruitful and grow in the ways that we need and want to. Pruning in
our lives can mean many different things, sometimes its cutting back on behavior
that is holding us back. Maybe it means letting go of an activity to make room for
something else that brings more joy or purpose to your life. And still other times it means that the relationships in our
lives need to change or end. However, one thing is for certain, it is hard and
it can be painful to prune the places in our lives that need to be pruned.</div>
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The last 6 months, for me, have been filled with pruning. Some of you may know a little of what has been
going on from my previous post about letting go. If you haven’t seen it you can
check that out <a href="http://www.oh-andrea.blogspot.com/2015/09/goals-knowing-when-to-let-go.html" target="_blank">here</a>. But the quick rundown is that in May I had a minor house fire
in the midst of a remodeling project and then in July, through circumstances
out of my control, I decided to give up the goal of completing my first half
marathon. Both of those events were the catalyst for some very deep reflection
and ultimately pruning in my life.</div>
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Some of that pruning has come in the form of me needing to
change my behaviors and choices, mainly in terms of MAKING time to take care of
myself. I love my job, but it should come as no surprise that my job can be
very stressful. When I was in grad school the continually beat us over the head
with idea that we needed to take care of yourself, and we were all like yeah
yeah we know, and we came up with these great ideas and plans (it really was
good to start thinking about it then). But ya know what happened. Life
happened, I forgot to calculate that I still had a life outside of my profession
which includes friends, animals, house work, and caring for myself as an adult (you know eating, showering, laundry etc).
All of the sudden all the time I planned or self-care got sucked up with other
things.<br />
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The events of this summer FORCED me to re-evaluate how I was
spending my time in the evenings. Ultimately I had to convince myself that it
was okay if the dishes didn’t get done EVERY night so that I could have time to
journal or color or whatever other rejuvenating things I wanted to do. I tend to
be a bit of a perfectionist (ssshh don’t tell anyone) so letting go of getting
things done to sit and color was a challenge, but I felt SO MUCH better when I
would, that ultimately that wasn’t a HUGELY painful transition or pruning in the
end but it was/is still challenging a times.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My "self-care" corner of the couch :)</td></tr>
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This summer has also caused a re-evaluation of the
relationships in my life. You can learn a great deal about a person and the
nature of your relationship when you are going through a crisis or a
particularly challenging time. I have a fantastic support system and wonderful
friends that were there for me. However there have been a couple of people in
my life that have made things more difficult or have done or said hurtful
things through this whole course of events. At the time I was hoping that they
were just crappy in a crisis, because let’s be honest some people don’t handle
crisis well and that’s okay.<br />
<br />
However after several conversations it became
apparent that there was more amiss in our relationship than just a poor
response to a crappy situation. The crappy situation had just highlighted the
trouble that was already there. So now I am faced with what I find to be the
most challenging and painful part of pruning and that is consciously and
deliberately putting space and new boundaries in place in these relationships. That’s
the painful part.</div>
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I’ve been in this place before, and while everyone is
different and you never know how someone is going to react I know that
once the pruning is done I will be free to grow and flourish. About 5 years
ago I was in a similar place with another friend. I kept putting off talking to
her because I didn’t want to lose the friendship, I thought we had been through
too much to not get things worked out. And I knew that what I was going to tell
her was going to hurt her. It was a difficult conversation, but once it was
done I felt like a weight was lifted. I didn’t realize how much that
relationship was weighing me down until I did some pruning and felt the change, the growth, start to take place. I still miss that friendship from
time to time (we had been friends for close to 10 years and truly had been
through a lot together) but I know that I would not be the person I am today had I
continued to carry that dying branch.</div>
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So as we continue to move through Fall, and the leaves
change and those of us with landscaping are working to prune the trees and
bushes, I pose the question, are there areas of your life that need to be pruned? And if so, what do
you think is holding you back from doing that pruning? Like I said, pruning can
be painful and seem like an odd way to spur growth. But I will tell you this for
sure, the last 6 months have been hard for me and there have been a lot of
tears, and there will probably be some more before the pruning is done but I
have also grown more as a person in the last 6 months than I have in the last 3
years. And I know, things are just going to get better.</div>
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Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-27079782813084185022015-10-19T07:28:00.001-05:002015-10-19T07:28:17.257-05:00Take Time to Smile. . .Daily.Recently I was participating in a twitter chat and the question was asked "what advice would you give someone to make tomorrow awesome?" I thought for a moment and responded "do something that makes you smile". In all honesty, it was a response that just popped into my head and was very off the cuff. But since then I have been thinking about it more and more.<br />
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The world we live in makes it far to easy for us to over extend ourselves and get so busy with things that we think we should do that often the things we like or enjoy doing get shoved to the side. I know that at times I am guilty of thinking "I will do that once all the work gets done." Unfortunately the to-do list many of us carry around just gets longer and we never reach the end. I mean I don't know about you but I go to work and there are phone calls, emails, paperwork, and accounting work that all needs to be done, then I come home and the yard needs to be mowed, the house needs to be cleaned, bills need to be paid and there is a never ending list of home improvement projects to work on. It becomes easy to see how a day can go by and a person doesn't "have time" to do anything they truly enjoy.<br />
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Here's the problem with living like that. I often encourage my clients to look at their energy reserve like a bank account. We all have things in our lives that take from our energy, think of those as withdrawals, and we have things that restore our energy, those are deposits. If you spend your entire day doing things that take from that account without ever doing anything that adds to the account it results in a situation where you are low on energy and if you keep that up for too long it can become overdrawn. <br />
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When we reach the low or overdrawn energy reserve we get short tempered, irritable, and tired. These are the moments when we snap at someone for asking a simple question, or we go home and lay on the couch for hours because everything feels like it's too much.<br />
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The frightening part to me is that it seems sometimes like our society puts a great deal of value on being able to live for long periods of time with little to no energy. I can't tell you the number of times I have asked a client when was the last time they did something that they really truly enjoyed and they will stare at me for a few moments because they actually have to think about it. To me the saddest thing is when the answer is "I don't know."<br />
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I say screw that. Being a martyr isn't cool or a fulfilling way to live. How many of you out there remember having a Walkman at some point in your life? (If you don't because you are too young to know what a Walkman is I don't want to know) You remember what happened as the batteries in your Walkman were running out of juice? The tape started playing slower and slower until and the music got more and more distorted until they finally just died. That is what trying to continue life on an almost empty energy tank is like. You are still moving and kind of getting things done, but you are gradually getting slower and slower and the quality of the things you are doing is like that music, getting more and more distorted till it's not really music anymore.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is a Walkman.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
So here is what I challenge each and every one of you to do each an every day. Do something that makes you smile and I'm talking that big I can't help but smile because it's coming from the core of who I am kind of smile. It can be anything big or small. Go to coffee or lunch with a friend, go to a movie, take time to do a hobby you enjoy, watch a funny video on YouTube, go for a walk, hug someone you love. I could go on forever with ideas. Some days when I get home I just lay on the bed for a few minutes and pet one of the cats, I love them so much and they usually do something that makes me giggle at some point. Whatever you decide, do it, give yourself an energy deposit for the day. I'm giving you permission to make yourself a priority and if that means the vacuuming doesn't get done, ya know what that's okay it will still be there tomorrow and you will have more energy to do it :).<br />
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Since I gave that off the cuff answer to the twitter chat a while ago I have been thinking about it a lot and trying to implement it into my daily life. At the end of my day I ask myself have you done something that makes you smile today? Sometimes the answer is yes and some days the answer is no. Hey I'm a work in progress just like the rest of you. So go forth, take on the world, and don't forget to smile :)<br />
<br />
If you need a laugh still today watch any of the videos on this page: <a href="http://whineaboutit.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">http://whineaboutit.tumblr.com/ </a>Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-87256166859328143552015-10-12T09:01:00.002-05:002015-10-12T09:01:17.638-05:00Grief, Your Way is Okay<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Grief. A simple word that names an incredibly complex
process. Everyone has an idea of what grief looks like and what is “normal” but
the reality is grief is an intensely individual process that can look very
different person to person. There is no manual that tells you how to navigate
grief or tells you what is “normal” or not. The reality is we only know what is
best in our own grief journey and no one else’s.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the most significant experiences with grief in my own
life started when I was a sophomore in college. In March of 2003 my mom was
diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic cancer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Just for perspective according to the <a href="http://www.cancercenter.com/pancreatic-cancer/statistics/tab/pancreatic-cancer-survival-statistics/?source=GOOGLPPC&channel=paid+search&c=paid%2520search%3AGoogle%3ANon+Brand%3ABroad%3ANon+Brand%3ECancer+Type%3A+Pancreatic%3ABroad&k_clickid=0810c8ea-f4ed-8408-d2f6-00002735f24b" target="_blank">Cancer Treatment Centers of America</a> the survival rate for 1 year post diagnosis is between 12% and 29%, and the survival
rate for 5 years just 2%. Needless to say this was devastating news. Mom
battled hard for just over a year before she passed away in the early morning hours
of July 17, 2004, surrounded by family.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HQDzOiquyg0/VhquH__HSII/AAAAAAAAAYs/o55_S9bGQCY/s1600/Mom%2B3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HQDzOiquyg0/VhquH__HSII/AAAAAAAAAYs/o55_S9bGQCY/s320/Mom%2B3.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Her smile and laugh were infectious</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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In an instant my world had been turned upside down and I
didn’t even know where to begin to process what was happening. News spread
quickly around the small town I grew up in and before long there was a steady
stream of people stopping by the house with their condolences, food, and the
offer to “let them know if we needed anything”. Truthfully most of that first
day is hazy at best and it was nice to have all the support, but I was numb,
and truly had no idea what I needed from anyone. All I knew was I had a list of
people I was supposed to call, we needed to go to the funeral home to make
arrangements, and talk with the Pastor. Life became task oriented and just
getting through the next hour, the next minute was my focus.</div>
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<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oBc_lGCGVPc/VhquIa24WVI/AAAAAAAAAZE/vRGayspJeFQ/s1600/Mom%2B4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="217" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oBc_lGCGVPc/VhquIa24WVI/AAAAAAAAAZE/vRGayspJeFQ/s320/Mom%2B4.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My sister, Mom, and Me after her diagnosis</td></tr>
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I don’t think the grief actually set in until much later.
That first week was about getting “business” taken care of and then at the end
of the week my sister and I were back at our summer job. Six weeks after that
my sister and I were moving back to college. We told our dad we didn’t want to
go but he said “What are you going to do around here” he had to go back to work
as well and we knew Mom would want us to continue our education, so we went.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mom being. . .well. . .Mom</td></tr>
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On the surface it seemed as though life was back to normal.
Dad was back at work, my sister and I were back at school and attending
classes, all the family had gone home, and the cards stopped coming in the
mail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the reality was it was, that
was when the grief process finally started for me, after all the other things
stopped. I found myself wanting to call my mom and tell her something that
happened that day, and my heart breaking when I remembered I couldn’t. I heard
my friends at school complain about their parents and some annoying thing they
had done, and found myself getting irrationally angry at them. And some days it
just plain hurt to breathe. But other days were okay, I could laugh and have a
good time and everything seemed normal.</div>
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<br /></div>
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This is probably the most annoying part about grief, the unpredictability.
One day you can feel like your old normal self and other days you can barely
muster the energy to get out of bed in the morning. It is confusing and hard to
understand not only to you but to the people around you as they are trying to
figure out what you need and how to best be supportive, but that is constantly
changing, and because it's constantly changing you may not even be able to tell them what you need.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Early in the fall semester when I was back at school, I was
lucky enough to start an internship and meet someone who would become a
lifelong friend. One day she told me that while I was grieving I got to do
whatever I thought was going to make me feel better if only for a moment, and
if I wanted to stand on my head I should stand on my head and not worry about
what others thought. (Now there are obvious exceptions to this advice, like if
what is making you feel better is harming you or others, i.e. substance abuse
etc.) But that moment is something that has stuck with me to this day, it gave
me permission to grieve on my terms and in my way and helps me remember that
whatever I am feeling is okay.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Txwjc4lqks0/VhquH7EfjPI/AAAAAAAAAY8/TLVoZugL_1o/s1600/Mom%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Txwjc4lqks0/VhquH7EfjPI/AAAAAAAAAY8/TLVoZugL_1o/s320/Mom%2B2.jpg" width="214" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of my favorite, Me (3yrs) and Mom</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That is now the messege I try to convey to everyone who is
dealing with grief. That whatever you are feeling is okay and whatever your
personal grief process includes IS "normal". It is one of the things I specialize
in in my practice and I can honestly tell you that of all the clients I have
worked with no two have had the same grief journey. Yet they all feel societal
pressure to “get over” their grief and move on with their lives, often leaving
them feeling confused, broken, and like they are grieving incorrectly. You can’t
grieve incorrectly, grief is a natural process and if you allow yourself to experience
it and take it as it comes you will start to feel better and stronger as the
days pass. And you will start to heal. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you are in a grief process also remember the support of
others is important. Although people may at times say something that comes
across as hurtful or not helpful, they have good intentions and aren’t trying
to be hurtful, they just want to help. But because it is such an individual process it can be difficult to know how to be helpful and they can inadvertently bring more confusion
to an already difficult process. (Side note: I plan to do a part 2 of sorts to
this entry talking more about how to support someone who is grieving, so sit
tight for that and let me know if you have any questions you would like me to
answer in that post).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DtQLDZvBoKw/VhqvL1HDALI/AAAAAAAAAZM/s30ixGQA8z4/s1600/Mom%2B5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DtQLDZvBoKw/VhqvL1HDALI/AAAAAAAAAZM/s30ixGQA8z4/s320/Mom%2B5.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mom at Wrigley with my aunt (her sister) and cousins</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It has been 11 and a half years since I lost my mom and my
grief looks much different now than it did in those first days but it is still
there. This past week I have been following The Cubs in the playoffs (We are
born and bred Cubs fans on my mom’s side of the family) and there was a moment
when they beat the Pirates Wednesday night in the Wild Card Game where my heart
just shattered into a million pieces. Not only was I thinking of how much my
mom would be loving this but I also remembered how she used to sit on our
living room floor, cross legged, rocking back and forth, calling all the
players by their FIRST names, and yelling “HEY HEY CUBBIES” whenever they had a
hit or a good play. Eleven and a half years later the pain is still there but I’ve
learned to live with it, it’s not as intense or constant as it once was, and it
has helped shape me into the person and therapist I am today. And most importantly I got to this point in my way and on my terms.</div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
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<![endif]-->Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-74544859714821146642015-10-05T07:31:00.003-05:002015-10-05T07:31:31.105-05:00Journaling and Why You Should Try It.Last week I wrote on the last page of my journal. This is
not a new experience it has happened a number of times since I started journaling
in my early 20’s. But it’s always an oddly bittersweet experience for me. On one
had I love picking out a new journal to continue my story in, but it also feels
like something is ending when I finish a journal. But one thing remains the
same, when I go to tuck that journal away in the box with the rest of the
filled journals, I take a few minutes and flip through old entries. That time
of reflection is usually interesting and serves as a reminder to me of where I
have been and how much I have grown and changed in the last decade or so. As I
flipped through old journals this time I got to thinking about how helpful
journaling has been to me over the years and how much it has helped my clients
as well.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-L_3n96GpkBM/VhH8dh7RG1I/AAAAAAAAAWo/qq2hqdDtZmM/s1600/20150930_182025.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-L_3n96GpkBM/VhH8dh7RG1I/AAAAAAAAAWo/qq2hqdDtZmM/s320/20150930_182025.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Every journal I've ever filled :)</td></tr>
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Journaling is one of the first things I recommend to the
majority of my clients. Here are the main reasons why:</div>
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<b>1. Bringing Clarity</b></div>
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<br /></div>
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This is the main reason I journal. But I also occasionally have
a client that comes in and during intake struggling to put into words what they
are thinking and feeling or they know what they are feeling but they can’t
pinpoint what is causing that. <b><i>Free journaling</i></b> or <i><b>stream of consciousness
journaling</b></i> can be very helpful in bringing more clarity or sense to what you are
thinking and feeling. I encourage people to just write whatever is on their
mind without concern for it making sense or flowing from one paragraph to the
next. After all this isn’t a college term paper. I personally will sometimes
sit down and decide I am going to journal until I literally have nothing left
to say.</div>
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<b>2. Remembering the Good</b></div>
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Gratitude journals have become very popular recently. People
are wanting to stay focused on things they are grateful for rather than all the
negatives, which can bring an excellent balance to our tendency to focus on what is going wrong. When I have a client that is not
super comfortable with free journaling or tends to get stuck in a really
negative place I recommend that they <i><b>try structuring their journaling based on
this template I got from <a href="http://www.duffthepsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Journal-Page.jpg" target="_blank">Duff the Psych</a></b></i>. It provides some space to free write
about whatever you want. There is also a space to write 3 things you are proud
of that have occurred since you last journaled and space to list 3 goals you
have for that day. I have used this template before and <i><b>at times it can be
difficult, but that’s okay it’s supposed to be</b></i>.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>3. Keep an eye on yourself</b></div>
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Are you thinking about making some changes or setting a new
goal for yourself? Journaling can be a great way to track your progress. <i><b>You
can track the concrete parts of your goal but you can also have space to
process your emotions about the changes you are making and identify the places
that are tripping you up</b></i>. Journaling through the process of change can help you
catch yourself when you are slipping into old patterns and help you see that
progress is being made even when it doesn’t feel like it.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>4. Get it out</b></div>
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<br /></div>
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Sometimes we truly need to just vent about a situation or
how we are feeling. Journaling is a great way to do that. When you write it
down you are getting it out of your brain and on the page and <i><b>when you are done
you can walk away having purged some of the. . .ick</b></i>. Often times after a good
journaling session I feel as though I have had a good conversation with a good
friend. And that really is what a journal can be. . .a good friend that is
always available and will never tell a soul what you said.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>5. Time to Reflect</b></div>
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<br /></div>
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As I mentioned above I often take a few minutes to reflect
on old entries when I have finished another journal. This is one of my favorite
things about journaling. <i><b>I can look back at where I have been and how much I
have grown and changed over the years</b></i>. It’s important to take this time to
reflect on your journey and take note of the progress you have made and ask are you
headed in the direction you want to be headed in. Whether you throw your
journal out when it’s full or you have a growing box of journals tucked away
somewhere (like me) take a few minutes every once in a while to flip through
old entries.</div>
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<br /></div>
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My recommendation is that everyone give journaling a try and
get creative. <i><b>There is no rule book that says journaling has to be written word
only</b></i>. I think the written part is important but I have also incorporated song
lyrics, drawing and collaging into my journals. Whatever I felt was going help
be best express myself at the time. Recently I had a client that was a much
better verbal processor than a written processor so he would do audio journal
entries. Journaling options are only limited by your creativity.</div>
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<br /></div>
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So give it a shot and see what you think. If you are
comfortable with free journaling get yourself a blank journal and go to town. If you are a little
less sure of where to get started give the template by <a href="http://www.duffthepsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Journal-Page.jpg" target="_blank">Duff the Psych</a> a try, or
you can go to Amazon and find tons of journals that will provide you with
prompts to get you started. I will include a couple of links below to examples.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Happy journaling.</div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Five-Minute-Journal-Happier/dp/0991846206/ref=pd_sim_14_3?ie=UTF8&refRID=0CTA1YZBNTFE8ZKN93C5&dpID=51xRlgpV3VL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR97%2C160_" target="_blank"><img alt="http://www.amazon.com/The-Five-Minute-Journal-Happier/dp/0991846206/ref=pd_sim_14_3?ie=UTF8&refRID=0CTA1YZBNTFE8ZKN93C5&dpID=51xRlgpV3VL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR97%2C160_" border="0" height="137" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b28wFgkeBKg/VhH7nAenQFI/AAAAAAAAAWY/n9FpietSnPE/s200/5%2Bmin%2Bjournal.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/5-Minute-Gratitude-Journal-James-Proctor/dp/1503160106/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1444001546&sr=8-2&keywords=5+minute+journal" target="_blank"><img alt="http://www.amazon.com/5-Minute-Gratitude-Journal-James-Proctor/dp/1503160106/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1444001546&sr=8-2&keywords=5+minute+journal" border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_nvAYeszJLU/VhH7nG9mW_I/AAAAAAAAAWU/jF4mbZpQk3A/s200/5%2Bmin%2Bgratitude%2Bjournal.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
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Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-71184525580796870812015-09-28T08:58:00.002-05:002015-09-28T10:41:20.413-05:00When I'm in the "Wild"This past weekend I went to my home town for the annual Fall Festival. When you have gone to the Fall Festival as many times as I have (32 to be exact) it becomes mostly about the food and seeing people from my childhood and the food. I mean really the food is great, I am from a small town with a large Mennonite and Amish populations so you can imagine what deliciousness they cook up. But I digress.<br />
<br />
Back to the seeing people from my childhood. Sometimes that can be fun, and other times it can be interesting. Usually at some point in the conversation people ask "Where are you working these days". To which I respond, "Oh, I opened my own office about a year and a half ago and work as a mental health therapist." At that point one of two things happens, either they say "Oh" and take a large step back, looking at me like I have a third eye or grew a tail or something, or they say "Oh Boy I really need to come see you" and start delving into all the stresses they have in their life.<br />
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<br />
This can also be interesting when the person that is taking a large step back is a member of your family. I've got one of those in my family
and on more than one occasion the response I have gotten to a question
like "You seem upset what's going on?" is "Don't
therapize me. (I don't know if therapize is a word, but that's what
she says) You know I don't do emotions". At that point I usually tell her "I'm not, I'm just asking" and then let it drop. It can make a casual conversation more like a mental workout.<br />
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<br />
After a weekend at the Fall Festival and quality family time and thinking a lot about how people reacted to me. I thought I would let you all in on a little secret. When I'm not at the office, just like the rest of you, I'm not working.<br />
<br />
So let me put all of your minds at ease. No, I am not diagnosing you, no, I am not analyzing everything you say, and no, I do not think you should be committed to a psych ward because of what you just said. Basically when I am out with friends or at a small town event (like this weekend) I want to be a normal person, talk about normal things like the whether or the news or my cats. When I ask about your day or your family or what you have been up to it's because I am interested as a friend or an acquaintance not because I am secretly working up a bio psycho social evaluation on you. Think of it like this, if you know someone that works as a server in a restaurant do you assume they want to bring you your dinner when they are at home. . .I sure hope not cause I'm guessing they don't.<br />
<br />
That being said, it is also true that part of what makes me a good therapist are my naturally occurring temperament and personality. Yes I am a caring person, yes I find people interesting and love (at times and in the right setting) to hear their stories and where they have been and get to know them on a deeper level, I am also by nature a good listener. Those are things I CAN'T shut off just because I am not at work. I have also spent a stupid number of years in school and training to be a therapist and as a result of that training I have a knowledge base that happens to pertain to mental health and I can't just shut that off either. It would be like asking someone who works in insurance to pretend like they know nothing about the insurance process when someone mentions they were rear ended on the way to work the other morning. They probably can't do that.<br />
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<br />
Moral of the story when a therapist is out in the real world they do not treat the people around them like clients. They do however have personality traits and knowledge that they can't shut off. So let's makes a deal. If/when we meet anywhere other than my office, I won't treat you like a client if you promise not to take a step back and look at me like I have a third eye. Deal?Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-35470651482057720312015-09-21T07:32:00.000-05:002015-09-21T07:32:32.906-05:00Goals: Knowing When to Let Go.October 18, 2015 was suppose to be a very special day for me. It was going to be the day that I participated in my first half marathon. I have always thought it would be cool to finish a half marathon and at the start of 2015 I was looking for a long term goal that would keep me focused and give me something to work for. After consulting some trusted friends to make sure I wasn't crazy and getting the anxiety monster under control, I decided to go for it.<br />
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Almost immediately the universe seemed to be throwing up road blocks to try and get me to quit. February and March were filled with a respiratory virus, a stomach virus and an episode with gout (If you don't know what gout is, google it, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy). Despite early set backs I was determined to continue and through all of that did my best to stick to my training and was making progress.<br />
<br />
In the beginning of May (Cinco de Mayo to be exact) I was greeted at the end of my work day with a phone call saying there had been a fire at the house (Surely someone is messin with me right?). I raced home, the whole way thinking "Don't get pulled over don't get in an accident". I arrived home to find 2 fire engines in front of my house, fire hoses running to the back of the house, and firemen hauling tarps full of insulation out of my house and dumping it in the driveway. I was in the middle of a bathroom remodel and was told the fire appeared to have started over the bathroom in the attic (Ugh). That night I just stood in my yard and stared at my house in a fog of not really knowing what to do or think or say.<br />
<br />
Ultimately the fire ended up causing very little damage and was emotionally traumatic more than anything. But the fall out started to take it's toll on me, facing the realization of how bad it could have been combined with the relief that it wasn't and that my furry babies were okay, dealing with insurance, people trying to be helpful and comforting but sometimes making it worse, and bringing the bathroom remodel to a halt until the investigation was over which resulted in me having to go the neighbors house daily for about 2 weeks to take a shower (Thank God for wonderful neighbors, seriously I love them). And through it all I continued to train, because I was NOT going to quit.<br />
<br />
July gets here and I start having horrendous back spasms to the point where riding in a car and hitting bumps would cause terrible pain. I went almost 2 weeks without being able to run (or really move much) before telling anyone what was going on. I found a chiropractor and told my trainer that things were not going well and we needed to talk and figure out how to make up lost time and work with my still healing back (I was still determined to make this happen, my mentality was I am going to do this or die trying).<br />
<br />
I went into the conversation with my trainer thinking we would make some tweeks and get back on track and things would be fine. That's not what he said, in fact he suggested that I may have to consider dropping out of the race this year. WHAT? QUIT? I'm not quitting, I don't quit once I start something. I had not even allowed myself to entertain this notion and when he said it, it shook me to my core and I instantly became so overwhelmed that I couldn't even speak or look up from the table.<br />
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<br />
I knew almost immediately he was right, at least part of my brain did. But when I tried to let my brain "go there" there was a part of my brain that just screamed "FAILURE" (for real, like audibly and everything). And was telling me things like "of course you quit, you always quit" (not true) and "everyone knew this was going to happen from the start so they won't be surprised you're a quitter but they will be disappointed in you" (also not true, but what can I say a certain part of my brain is a total bitch). At the end of the day with a lot of tears and even more disappointment, I accepted what I knew to be best for me both physically and mentally and decided not to attempt the half is year.<br />
<br />
The weeks since that decision was made have been some of the most challenging I have had in recent years. Trying to make peace with coming up short on this goal and trying to figure out where to go from here. One thing that became crystal clear was my struggle with failing. I had taken on this goal and there was a part of me that was going to sacrifice EVERYTHING, including my health and well being to meet the challenge. In a very literal sense my attitude was I am going to make this happen or die (or cause serious injury) trying. That way no one can say I didn't do everything possible and no one can say I quit. Often times it seems failing is equated with being a failure. I know that is how I was feeling. Ultimately I had to take a step back and realize that yes I failed to reach my goal but that does not make me a failure as a human being.<br />
<br />
There is a huge difference between quitting at the first sign of trouble (which I could have done when I got sick in February) and being able to admit that at some point legitimate road blocks have come up pushing a goal out of reach. There seems to be an attitude that once a goal is set we can get there no matter what, come hell or high water, if we just put our minds to it. Which is a dangerous mentality and amplifies the feeling of failing if things don't work out. Plain and simple life happens, it's unpredictable and shit gets in the way, and there are even times when you do exactly what you are suppose to and come up short. And oh boy is that a tough pill to swallow, and disappointing, and painful, and yes by definition means you failed BUT it DOES NOT change your value as a person and does not make you a failure as a human being.<br />
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I have also spent some time thinking about my true motivations for wanting to complete a half marathon (before I blindly decided to jump in for next year). Like really why? I realized that while it was a true desire of mine to do a half, it came from a desire to prove myself to all the people I felt didn't believe in me. Let me tell you right now, that isn't going to get you through 13 miles of anything. It is important to know the true motives for goals you set for yourself and to occasionally check in with yourself about what is driving you. Will this bring you happiness and a sense of accomplishment outside of what anyone else thinks? Did this goal come from within you without pressure from others (there's a fine line between someone inspiring and challenging you and pressuring you into something that isn't good for you)? If the answers to those questions are no, that's a sign of potential trouble on the horizon. As for me, no decision has been made at this point about whether or not I will attempt to train for another half, I still have some thinking to do.<br />
<br />
The final thing I have learned from this process is that sometimes when you are open to taking a step back and re-evaluating what you are doing, it makes space and room for some pretty amazing things to happen. In the midst of these challenging weeks I have also had some incredible highs that I know wouldn't have happened had I continued pushing forward with training. Work has been fantastic, I have made some new connections with new people and hello, I'm blogging again. We only have so much space with in ourselves and our lives for various things. Sometimes when we can let goal of certain things or goals in our lives it makes room for other things or new paths and goals. <br />
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Overall, 2015 has certainly been a year of ups and downs, and the last 6 weeks have been some of the most painful, challenging and filled with growth weeks I have had in quite a few years. Even as I write this I still struggle with moments of feeling like a failure (Hey we are all a work in progress). That being said I wouldn't trade this experience. If you take nothing else from today's post please remember that no matter how many times you may stumble or fail you are a person with value and worth. You are one of a kind and you are amazing.Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-71225732340466427792015-09-14T07:32:00.002-05:002015-09-14T07:33:11.214-05:00F**k Anxiety!. . .Word.Raise your hand if you have struggled with anxiety. Okay granted I can't see any of you but I'm guessing if I could a lot of you would have raised your hands. I know I do, most days it's pretty low key and the worst that happens is that my right foot starts to twitch (always the right, I don't know why, the left one is lazy) and I don't usually even notice until someone near me says, why are you shaking. My usual response is "I didn't know I was", but once it's pointed out I realize that damn anxiety monster is acting up. On rougher days I have the full blown, upset stomach, tingly hands, fast breathing, racing heart, feeling hot and sweating. Not helpful in daily life, unless you are fleeing a woolly mammoth. I'm sure many of you know what I'm talking about and let's just agree it sucks and if we could take a pill and kill that monster for good we would.<br />
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Unfortunately that is not how it works with anxiety. That jerk creeps up on you at the most inopportune times, even when you've been working hard to manage it, and robs you of sleep, time, or sometimes once in a life time experiences. One of the greatest opportunities anxiety took from me was the chance to go the top of the Eiffel Tower. They seemed to think letting someone on the elevator having a panic attack was bad idea. Weird how that works out. Clearly that experience (15 years ago) still bugs me some days, damn anxiety.<br />
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Through years of work and therapy (yes even therapists go to therapy) I have for the most part been able to get my anxiety under control. I also spend a fair portion of my professional life helping others get their anxiety monsters under control. And in both of those arenas I been on a constant quest for a better way to explain/cope with/understand anxiety that didn't feel so clinical. And then it happened, like a gift from heaven, I stumbled across a self help book that was everything I was looking for and even things I didn't know I was looking for.<br />
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Now before I lose half you because you hate self help books and your eyes are starting to glaze over, let me say I hate self help books too. I find most of them to be a little too sunshine and rainbows for me. More often then not I get to a chapter that seems to suggest if I just think happy thoughts every thing will be great (Unfortunately that gets a little hard to understand when your thoughts are full of sunshine and rainbows and life kicks you in gut anyway). At that point I close the book, resist the urge to throw it through a window, and instead throw it in a box to go to Goodwill. So if this book were like that, you wouldn't be reading this and I might be pricing a new window. :) But I digress.<br />
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The title is what first caught my eye. . .are you ready. . .cause this is pretty awesome. The title of the book is <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Hardcore-Self-Help-Robert-Ph-D/dp/1514866005/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441241965&sr=8-1&keywords=Hardcore+Self+Help" target="_blank"><i>Hardcore Self Help: F**k Anxiety</i></a> by Robert Duff, Ph.D. Yep, I knew at that moment this book and I were going to be friends. I immediately bought the audio version (after my non techie self figured out how to use audible, that was ridiculous) and started listening, because ain't nobody got time to wait for things to ship. The introduction had me cracking up and by Chapter 1 I thought to myself "YES!!! FINALLY someone gets it!!! And he's talking to me like a friend, rather than a psychologist; using big words and jargon that real only proves he's super smart (which he is) but doesn't help me get my anxiety in check because I have no idea what he's talking about (okay, I do understand most psychologist jargon cause I spent a lot of years in school, but you know what I'm saying)!!!<br />
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Allow me to highlight the reasons I have fallen in love with this book:<br />
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<li><b>It's short, most days I have the attention span of a goldfish.</b></li>
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<li>The book is maybe 50 to 60 pages (I'm not sure it doesn't have page numbers) but I know the running time on the audio book is about 1 hr 15 min. Everybody can find time to fit that in, you know it, I know it, so just get rid of that list of excuses right now.<br /> </li>
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<li><b>He GETS it. Few things in this world feel as good as being understood.</b></li>
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<li>I mean really, think about a time when you felt truly understood by someone else. Like explaining how you were feeling or what you were going through wasn't hard and you didn't feel like you had to defend yourself, the other person just got it. Feels pretty damn good right? Nothing in this world is 100% but if I was a betting kind of gal I would put a lot of money on you feeling understood while reading this book.<br /> </li>
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<li><b>It's funny, laughter truly is the best medicine.</b></li>
<ul>
<li>This is one is pretty self explanatory, but let me paint you a picture with my imagination brush of a woman laughing so hard as he listened that had someone walked in the house they would have had some questions about what was happening. Just imagine me walking around ear buds in, cleaning the house, laughing out loud, like really loud. There were a couple of times even the cats were looking at me like "What the hell is wrong with you?"</li>
<li>Additionally, it is incredibly difficult, bordering on impossible, to feel anxious while you are laughing, so that's a win.</li>
</ul>
<li><b>The suggestions are practical, easy to follow, and easy to implement. </b></li>
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<li>Look, bottom line we are all busy and if we are presented with "12 steps to a new you" most of us aren't going to make it too far because it's just too much at once and can feel like a heavy duty over haul of your life, and good or bad change is hard and stressful. Suggestions in this book are simple. </li>
<li>Breathing? We gotta do that anyway so it's no big deal to take a few minutes and add a little intention and structure to it so that maybe you can calm the hell down rather than hyperventilating.</li>
<li>We are going to worry about a situation regardless right? So why not take that time, practice following a few easy steps, answer a few questions, and try to make that time productive rather than worrying in circles that do NOT bring about any resolution? Everything in this book is SIMPLE to learn and EASY to start to implement but can make a HUGE difference in coping with anxiety. </li>
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I could go on for days, (some of you probably feel like I have if you follow me on twitter, @ajgus83) I can NOT possibly say enough good things about this book. Absolutely 10 out of 10 recommend. I ordered an obscene number of copies and officially have strongly recommended/made any client (and a handful of friends) I currently have that even kind of deal with anxiety read it. They have all LOVED it.<br />
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The one DISCLAIMER I will give about this book is that Duff is not afraid to swear freely and often so if you are easily offended by that, swearing just isn't your jam, or you are a youngin maybe not the book for you. But over all fantastic and if you are like me and swear like a sailor anyway the swearing in the book is no big deal. You should definitely <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Hardcore-Self-Help-Robert-Ph-D/dp/1514866005/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441241965&sr=8-1&keywords=Hardcore+Self+Help" target="_blank">CLICK HERE</a> or use any of the other links I've provided and get your hands on a copy TODAY. <br />
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I would also strongly recommend you check out Duff's website <a href="http://www.duffthepsych.com/">www.duffthepsych.com</a>, he has a blog with some great ideas and information as well. He also periodically offers custom guided relaxations (last I checked there were still a few available), which are also fantastic but that's a whole different blog post. I have had the privilege of getting to know him a little bit via email and the internet. He's a pretty awesome guy all the way around. I know we will all be hearing more from him and about him in the future.<br />
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Unfortunately nothing is an immediate fix-all and even with this book anxiety can still be a pain in the ass but this book is certainly a good place to start in the journey towards getting the upper hand on that wench called anxiety. In less time than you think, you can have the tools to wake up every morning kick anxiety in the face and make it your bitch.Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-79640826731628070122015-09-07T10:39:00.000-05:002015-09-28T10:41:43.711-05:00I went sleeveless!The title of this entry may seem like an odd statement. I mean I live in Iowa and it is September (and has been ungodly hot this weekend), it's not like I'm announcing that I ran around sleeveless in January in 3 feet of snow. But none the less this is sort of a big deal in my world. Allow me to explain.<br />
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I went to a wedding in Chicago last weekend and like all girls needed a new dress for the occasion. I found a delightful sleeveless number that I LOVED. But I hesitated before purchasing it because I haven't always been comfortable showing off my arms to the world. The reason for that has nothing to do with the fact that when I wave it looks like I have flags attached to my arms and everything to do with the fact that I have quite a few visible scars and some of the most visible are on the upper part of one of my arms. At minimum when visible people will stare, awkwardly and uncomfortably. On occasion people ask, with a very concerned tone in their voice "what happened?"<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and my sister, pre-wedding all dressed up.</td></tr>
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"What happened?" Simple enough question and in my head there is a simple enough answer "I did it to myself." But those words rarely come out of my mouth because I know that makes everyone uncomfortable, including me. Let's be honest I'm not particularly proud of that part of my life (that part of my life being almost a decade ago, I have not cut myself in about 10 years*). So for years I've kept my scars mostly hidden to avoid the awkward questions and on the occasion that it did come up mumbled some lame excuse about having a bastard for a cat. People will believe just about anything you tell them, no matter how far fetched, to get out of an awkward situation. I did these things not just for the comfort of others but because I also wanted to avoid the gut wrenching anxiety and shame I felt about what I had done to myself.<br />
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In recent months and weeks, however, I started to realize that somewhere along the way my thoughts about my scars had changed. I am not as ashamed of them as I once was, and I've realized that most of the shame I do still feel is related to how others in my family feel about my scars not how I feel about them. There are still awkward interactions, stares, and some anxiety in my gut when I know someone is staring but I have stopped hiding. It's damn hot in the summer around here and I'm tired of not being able to wear what I want, and having the scars of my past always be a part of me getting dressed in the morning. Frankly I have allowed that part of my past to take up too much brain space over the years.<br />
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But as frustrating as it is to have your past haunt you in the clothing decisions you make every morning and the desire to take some of that brain space back and use it for other things, it took much more than that frustration with the status quo and desire to shift my thinking. I had to find a way to forgive myself for the choices I made so long ago. For me that forgiveness came from recognizing and accepting the fact that at that time I didn't have any better coping skills. It sounds silly but it's true the circumstances of that time were so overwhelming my brain essentially shut off because I didn't even know where to start let alone how to adequately cope.<br />
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Another important piece of me forgiving myself, and something that some people struggle to understand about self harm, is remembering that I didn't want to die. Yes I had had some suicidal thoughts, but my self harm was not about wanting to die it was about trying to find a way to survive the pain I was feeling for just one more day. At the time I was in a very real fight for my life and as destructive and unhealthy as some of my choices were in that time, I survived. And really at the end of the day how can I be ashamed of
myself for fighting so hard to stay here?<br />
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The answer is I shouldn't be. And while I still have, and probably always will have, visible (what I now call) battle scars I don't want that to be the reason I don't dress the way I want or don't go to the pool or won't change clothes when other people are around. I don't want them to be a reason for me not living my life to it's fullest and in the way I want. Those scars are part of my history, a part I can't make go away and quite frankly a part of my history that has contributed hugely to the type of person and therapist I am today. And I like that person (most days) so I chose to embrace her and all her baggage :)<br />
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So that's it. That's the story of why me wearing a sleeveless dress to a wedding in the middle of August is a big deal. Moral of the story? Be proud of the battles you have won and the ways you have grown and changed even if you aren't always proud of the tactics you used to get there. Some days that is still hard for me to remember but that's okay, we keep truckin.<br />
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And along those lines please understand that I am in NO WAY glorifying self harm encouraging any one to use self harm as a way to cope with life or any situation, it is simply part of my journey. It is not a HEALTHY or POSITIVE choice and quite frankly is VERY DANGEROUS. If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm, depression, anxiety, or suicidal thinking please see the references I have included below. **<br />
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I hope you all don't mind my sharing such a personal story pretty much right out of the gate (at least on this time around in my blogging adventure) but it's something that has been on my mind this week, is something I wanted to share, and was the topic that got me thinking about blogging again.<br />
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<i>*The short version of my history is that when I was a sophomore in college the world as I knew it started to fall apart (I changed majors after failing a class, lost a job I loved, and my mom was diagnosed with cancer) and I had my first serious bout with depression. As part of the battle to cope with that depression and cope with my world crumbling around me I turned to cutting. I did seek therapy almost immediately. prompted by some VERY good friends but still struggled with self harm for a few years until I was able to a) develop more constructive coping skills and b) felt I was worth enough to stop harming myself. As I stated above I have not self harmed in about 10 years. Please feel free to ask if you have further questions about anything in this blog post or my own journey with self harm. I am hoping my story will help others in some way shape or form. However, that being said I try to be an open book as much as appropriate, but I reserve the right to decline to answer any questions I am not comfortable with or feel would take this discussion in a negative direction.</i><br />
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<i>**If you or anyone you know is struggling with self harm or suicidal thinking please seek help. You can call the <a href="http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/">National Suicide Prevention Lifeline</a> 24 hours a day. For more information on self harm including signs that someone may be self harming and other general information <a href="http://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm">click here</a>. I also recommend checking out <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Skin-Game-Memoir-Caroline-Kettlewell-ebook/dp/B00CVNQG6G/ref=as_li_ss_tl?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1431056741&sr=1-3&keywords=skin+game&linkCode=sl1&tag=dufthepsy-20&linkId=Y25WFXO24M5TDNM4">Skin Game: A Memoir</a> it is the story of one woman's struggle with and overcoming self harm.</i>Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8048808444012816503.post-28396826107769545772015-08-31T14:08:00.003-05:002015-08-31T14:09:23.506-05:00I'm Back!So here's the deal. I have had this blog for a long time and quite frankly have never been very good about keeping it updated or blogging on a regular basis. However in the last few weeks I have felt a desire to give blogging another go and felt like I have had a number of things on my mind that you just can't adequately express in 140 characters on twitter.<br />
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That being said, before I just dove in haphazardly I gave some thought and consideration about what other commitments I have in my life, what I would like the focus of this blog to be and quite frankly do I have ENOUGH ideas to keep this rolling. Ultimately I have decided that I would like to give it another try and do my very best to keep things updated.<br />
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If you cruise through some of my old posts you will quickly discovered that while some of them are pretty entertaining (if I do say so myself) there is really no rhyme or reason to what I posted or talked about. Which, in some ways, was fine. My aim at that time was to entertain and laugh about life's quirks. That is still my aim to a degree but a lot has changed in the last few years since I've posted and I want to have more direction to what I am posting.<br />
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Fear not there will always be humor and some randomness here, it's my personality and it just happens. I would also like to share the knowledge I have about living the best most happy life you can live, not only from my work and training as a mental health therapist but also from my personal experience. Part of the reason I ultimately became a therapist was because I have waged my own battle against depression and anxiety most of my teenage and adult life.<br />
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So here's the goal, to have some blogs that share information and suggestions on how to cope with different situation. Sometimes having a good time and laughing about entertaining things in my life, and other times sharing bits and pieces of my own journey and lessons I have learned along the way. If that is something that sounds like you would enjoy and you would like to stick around for more I would invite you to do so and we will see what happens here together.Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16946833989360415533noreply@blogger.com1